RP:]] St Luke's Reform School For Young Gentlemen

"Mm, well you do look big and strong." I say, smirking across at Matt, allowing myself to not so subtley admire his body.

He really is fucking hot. Zacky's a lucky guy. Then again, he's not so bad himself. I can just imagine these two spending hours up at night, long, hot sex sessions. There's got to be some reason Zacky's in such good shape with his diet.

"Maybe you could instruct me sometime? You do do solo lessons, right?" I ask, biting the end off one of the cocktail sausages.

I look down at Zacky. Is this guy flirting with me? Or... I'm really confused now. I was never particularly good at picking up on signals from other guys. I discovered at our 20th reunion that a bunch of guys in school had tried to pick me up but I was too oblivious to notice.

"Uh... I do but, I tend to focus on training up the women these days." I explain, making sure my eyes stay on Zacky.

I know it's rude not to look at the person you're talking to but Josef's kinda freaking me out a bit. I want him to make sure he knows I'm only interested in Zacky. Staring at him kinda gets that message across.

I look back at Josef with a venomous glare, I hate this boy so much, he's even flirting with my husband-to-be now. And me knowing that Matt would stay faithful and wouldn't do a thing with Josef just makes me feel even worse about all this.

"So, Joe. Why did you come here today? I thought you told me you had plans, with your girlfriend."

I hope this can get rid of the illusion that I could possibly be sleeping with this guy. Or, it has just made it all so much worse. Fingers crossed.

"With my...?" I start before realizing what he's trying to do here.

Nice try Zacky, I don't give up that easily.

"Mm, no, the person I'm seeing had to cancel today. She's got some family thing going on." I say, smirking across at him, "I'm beginning to think she might have someone else. That she's just stringing me along because her other man can't satisfy her."

I pretend to sniffle, "It's a shame, I really do care about her. And I can only imagine what it would do to her other lover if he ever found out. It's him I feel bad for really."

I fix my gaze on Matt, "Not knowing what you're partner's doing behind your back. It's got to hurt."

"Uh.. yeah, that's got to hurt."

I'm beginning to get a little unnerved by the amount of staring this kid is doing. Is he trying to hint at something here? Does he know something about Zacky that I don't? Or is he just trying to freak me out, make me think he knows something when really he doesn't?

I turn to Zacky, "So did Coby and Brian say when they were going to get here? Coz... y'know, it's not a party with three people."

And I'd like to see if those guys are freaked out by this kid too.

I just stare at Josef, about ready to throw him out on his ear but I hear the doorbell go off and personally thank God for taking some pity on me so once.

"Well, it looks like now," I say with a small laugh, "you must be a mind-reader or something, baby."

"I'll go and get the door," I tell Matt before smiling at him and kissing his cheek before going out to the hallway towards the front door.

But I do have the time to shoot yet another death glare at Josef as I exit the room.

I shove my hands deep in my pocket as I start kicking at invisible stones on the porch of Matt and Zacky's place. I'm in a bad mood. Stupid boyfriend, stupid starting something we had no time to finish, stupid everything.

I'm not really that annoyed to be honest. I just started pouting in the car and haven't been able to stop myself. It's just kind of happened. I do this way too often. Except usually I get stuck doing my redneck voice and informing people not to fuck the milkman coz he's their brother... Crazy days.

"They better appreciate us coming today." I whine in my stupid childish voice, "Coz I could so have been getting laid right now."

"You would so not be, not with that attitude you wouldn't be anyway," I inform Brian as look over at him.

I still can't believe that he is still mad and pissy at me for something so trivial. We haven't really thought before about anything dramatic and now we are pissy at the smallest thing? Kinda insane really.

"Now cheer up, for Zacky and Matt's sake, please?"

I open the front door and step out onto the porch with Brian and Jacoby.

"My God, I am so glad that you guys are here..." I say to them both with a sigh before looking over their faces.

They both look pissed to fuck at me... does that mean that Brian told Coby about me and Josef? Or... God, I am just being so paranoid now. They could be pissed for a number of reasons.

I turn to look at Coby with a giant fake grin on my face, eyes wide, looking pretty maniacal really.

"Better?"

I wish I could cheer myself up, I'm annoying myself now. Then again, I'm normally like this when something's going wrong. I'm like some weird kind of drama meter.

I look across at Zacky. He looks petrified. As if something's going wrong. I knew I had to be pissed off for a reason.

"Zee, you okay?"

I look at Zacky who looks so confused, scared, and every single emotion that could come in between. I look at Brian and he looks just as scared, like he knows something that I don't.

"Erm, I'll just go inside then?" I ask Zacky who nods to me in a pretty fast speed before he turns back to Brian.

I look at Brian, giving him a look that says, you better tell me later, before walking into the house and into the room where I can hear the voices coming from.

I smile at Coby as he walks into the house and shuts the door behind him. I sigh as soon as the door hits the door frame and I turn back to Brian.

"Bri, Joe's here... and he's... he's evil..." I take a deep breath, trying to think of how I can word this.

"He's going to tell Matt about me and him... I know he is... Brian, he's going to ruin me and Matt."

And there it is...

Wait, what?

"He's not going to tell Matt, Zee." I say, "He's not that vindictive."

He may be a bit of an asshole - he always was growing up - but he's not the kind of guy who'd ruin a relationship just because he wasn't a part of it. Or he never used to be, I haven't seen him properly since he was 16. We've had coffee and stuff but he's been too busy undressing me and Coby with his eyes - wrong wrong WRONG - to actually show any asshole tendencies.

"I mean, why would he do that? It's not as if he's going to get anything out of it. He'd lose everyone if he did that."

Unless he thinks in some twisted way that it'll bring us all closer together. Gah, this is why he doesn't know I'm his dad. I don't get kids.

"I don't KNOW, why he'd do it but... he's got so much against me now. He's... he's got videos and photos," [I can only imagine], "of me on his phone telling him I love him."

I sigh and hang my head.

"I said to myself it was going to be a one time thing, just one time to stop myself from killing someone, one time to calm my nerves but, I've being so stressed because of this secret between me and him I have being more stressed so I need more from him and..."

I stop talking and smack my hand over my face.

"I hate myself."

I shake my head, "Zee, if anyone understands the weird calming effect sex has, it's going to be me, right?"

I clap a hand on his shoulder, "I'm sure this'll work out. I can talk to him if you want? He always listened to me back in Jersey."

Well sort of. He tended to do the exact opposite of what I said before eventually accepting that I was right. I don't know what I'm going to say really 'Son, I don't think you should ruin Zacky's relationship. Do you really want Matt angry at you?'

I sigh, "No, no. You shouldn't have to get into this, it's not your fault..."

I look up at Brian, "I was going to tell Matt today. I was going to tell him everything but, Josef showed up and... I chickened out."

"I just, I know I'm going to lose him Brian, and I don't know what to do," I feel tears brim in my eyes now and I sniff, "Oh for fuck sake."

"You won't, Zee." I insist, even though I can't really speak for Matt.

I don't see him as the kind of guy who'd just give up on someone that easily. Especially not on Zacky. It's too late for him to start over, to find someone new. And he's got kids with him too. He's not likely to give that up for something like this...

I hope.

"You need to tell Matt about this before Joe gets any kind of chance." I say, "Coby and I can keep him occupied."

I nod slowly before wiping my nose and my eyes, trying to get rid of any traces of my tears as much as I can.

"OK, OK, I will..."

"Does... does Coby know about what I've done?" I ask Brian.

Although Coby has known for a long time, I still think that this is the kind of thing that he would hate me for doing. Matt's one of his best friends, more so than mine. He would hate me for hurting Matt at all.

I shake my head, "He doesn't know anything. I mean, I think he knows something's up but I don't think he knows exactly what, y'know?"

Zee still looks terrified, granted it's with good reason but still. I just wish I could do something to calm him down, to make him think positive about all of this. I have to make do with a smile. I think a blow job would just exacerbate the problem right now.

"I'm sure it'll work out, Zacky. It might take a while but you two can pull through. You've been together so long, I don't think this could tear you apart."

I sigh and nod, again, "I feel so sick."

I groan before turning around and opening the front door and looking back at Brian. I smile weakly at him before taking a deep breath and walking into the main hallway and into the living room where the little party is beginning. Even Courtney is down here now, chewing gum and staring at Josef... oh great...

I don't say anything as I enter the room, not really wanting everyone to know I have actually come back in, probably looking as sick as a cancer patient.

I look over to see Zacky and Brian coming in. Brian's looking guilty. Zacky looks even worse. Wait...

No. No, that can't be it! They can't be sleeping together. Brian wouldn't do that to Coby, he wouldn't let Zacky do that to me. But then all the pieces fit. They've been spending a lot of time together recently, they've got some big secret between them that they've not told me or Coby.

That asshole! Zacky's mine!

I glare across at Brian, trying to get my message across with my eyes so I don't have to scream at him in here. I don't want to lay out my fiances mistress(?) in the middle of my engagement party.

"Zee, baby, are you okay?" I ask, approaching him and wrapping my arms around him, still glaring at Brian as I do so.

"Huh?" I ask Matt, shaking my head a little to look around as I feel his arms snaking around me.

"Oooh, yeah, yeah I'm fine. I just feel a little light-headed, I didn't get much sleep last night and cooking so many cocktail weenies has fried my brain," I say with a small laugh as I bring my hand up to my forehead and rub at it.

"But, I'll put on a brave-face. You know I always do," I say with a small smile, looking up at Matt before hugging him close to me so I don't have to look into his eyes.

"You sure?" I ask, looking down at him, "I'm sure our guests wouldn't mind if we went to lie down somewhere. On our bed. That we share every night."

Everyone's looking at me like I'm insane now. I refuse to accept that. I know something's not right now. I know Brian's been sleeping with my man. It's not right, it's not fair.

"I just love you, Zee and... and I don't want you to be hurting or ill or anything."

"Erm..." I bite into my lip and I swear I have just turned paler.

Joe has said something to him, hasn't he? Oh no, oh God.

"I... gonna, yeah," I say to Matt, not even sure if I actually said anything before sliding out of his grasp as quickly as I can before making my way out of the living room, out of the hallway and darting up the stairs to my bedroom.

I take a deep breath as soon as I reach the top of the stairs.

"Oh God, oh godohgodohgod," I say to myself as I run my hands over my face as my breathing heightens and I feel tears in my eyes again.

What have I done?

I look across to Brian, "I hope you're happy, Haner! This is all your goddamn fault! It's not enough that you've already fucked over most straight relationships in this city, now you have to fuck up mine! I don't know what Jacoby sees in you."

I spin on my heel and storm off before he can offer me some stupid half assed apology. I don't want to hear his dumbass excuses. None of them will be good enough.

I head up the stairs, stomping loudly, like a petulant child. I want to find Zacky, find out how he could do this to me, how he could hurt me so badly.

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