RP:]] St Luke's Reform School For Young Gentlemen

"Probably, he'll wonder why and how told me to get naked," I laugh a little before sighing and looking around the room.

"Well, I guess I best be off, yeah?" I ask him, completely unconvinced by this whole idea.

"Ooooooh, I don't want to," I whine a little before laughing a little and walking over to the door a little slowly.

I look back at Tony, "Wish me luck?"

Number of posts : 920 Age : 43 Registration date : 2008-04-01

"Really? His brain would have enough blood to process those thoughts?" I ask, with a cheeky smirk.

I sigh heavily, "Good luck man. Not that you're going to need it. And remember, if all else fails, flash a nipple."

I open the door, smiling slightly at Tony, "Thanks man. I'll keep that in mind," I smile before walking out into the hallway and close the door behind me.

I sigh as I become alone once again. How could Tony be so jokey about all this? Getting naked to stop my boyfriend dumping me for cheating on him. But I don't know what I said to Brian, but something tells me that it is going to be a hell of a lot more than just a few smiles and hugs and kisses to make this all better.

I start to make my way down the long hallway, my head now ponding again with every single step I take. My head hurting even more and more the closer I get to mine and Brian's dorm. But the closer I get to it, the further away the room seems.

"Man, what the hell am I going to say?" I ask myself as I walk even more slowly down the hallway, blocking out the sounds of screaming and running boys as I go.

Why is it so damn busy this morning?

I keep playing the simple riff over and over, my fingers sore as hell. I've not picked up my guitar in so long, my fingers aren't used to the pressure of the strings pushing against them.

I've been up all night. I'm tired but I can't go to sleep, I tried. I just couldn't get comfortable without Coby beside me, wrapped around me, protecting me from the world. I tried wrapping the duvet around me like arms but nothing. So now I'm sat in one of his shirts, so he's around me in some way, playing Black Sabbath over and over.

I look up to the clock. 6.30AM. A year ago, I wouldn't have known this time existed.

So, I'm here now, just staring at the dorm room door. My hand on my forehead to keep the pressure on my brain down and my foot tapping rapidly on the floor.

I can hear the sounds of guitar on the other side of the door, the sounds of Iron Man coming through the door to reach my eyes. I bite into my lip as I listen, the rhythm is slow and lazy, as if Brian isn't really awake enough to actually be into playing.

"OK Coby, just gotta open the door," I say to myself as I look at my hand near the door knob, "open the door. It's not that hard."

Easy for me to say.

I stop mid-bend as I hear a voice outside my door. I'm about to call out Coby's name when I hear another couple of voices going past the door. Of course there are going to be people around, everyone's getting ready for the day.

I bring my hand off the neck of the guitar, shaking it out as I try to bring some kind of feeling back into my fingertips which isn't soreness. Goddamnit, why haven't I been practicing?

"Fuckin' hands."

I put the guitar down against the bed, rubbing my hands together. There'll be no more of that this morning. I look down at my fingers, the indents in the tips. Wish Coby was here to kiss the pain away.

I sigh, jumping up and down a little on the spot to peep myself up for this. I have no idea what could be on the other side of that door waiting for me. Brian could be ready to rip my head off, scream at me, cuddle me until the day turns to night. I'm just so scared right now.

I bite into my lip and open the door, closing my eyes as I feel that it's not locked and my hand pushes the door open.

Ooooh man, I'm going to have to do this now.

I sigh as I poke my head around the door slowly, biting into my lip as I stand close to the door, my hand still on the knob so I can hide behind it if something gets thrown at me.

"Hey."

I look up from my sore hands to look at the intruder. Despite everything that's happened, I can help but greet him with a smile. I hate myself for it. I don't want him to know I've been waiting for him, that I've been missing him desperately over these past few hours despite everything he said to me, that I totally forgive him already and just want a cuddle.

"Hey yourself."

I gesture for him to come in as I get up from the bed, trying to decide whether to hug him or not.

He looks pretty... nonchalant about everything. He's smiling at me, what does that even mean? I obviously wasn't as forceful as I imagined I was.

I smile to him slightly before closing the door behind me and walking over to him cautiously.

"Are you OK?" I ask him, "Get much sleep last night?"

I am hoping that keeping to the neutral questions then I won't get my heads bitten off. Hopefully.

[[BRB DINNER!]]

"I've been better, let's put it that way."

There are only a few feet separating us but it seems like a million miles. We're too afraid to bridge the distance because it could ultimately mean rejection. Neither of us want that.

An uncomfortable silence falls between us. I don't know what I'm supposed to say or do. What do you do when you've fucked your boyfriend off enough for him to storm out on you? I do the only thing I know how to do.

I apologize.

"I... I'm sorry Coby."

What? Why is he sorry? What happened last night? What did he do to make him sorry?

"You're sorry?" I question him in bemusement, "But, I was the one that was stoned and drunk to fuck, I don't remember what happened, but I think I'm the one that should be sorry."

I feel a little embarrassed about admitting that I can't remember what happened last night, but I just can't.

"What, actually happened last night?"

I've tried to block it out, I don't really want to go through this again but I suppose he needs to know what he did, how much he hurt me.

"Um, well, you were... really fucked. You came here and kinda demanded to fuck me." I say, smiling without any hint of amusement or happiness, "You were pretty forceful, it-it really scared me because it reminded me of daddy dearest and then you told me to drop the act and stormed off."

On reflection, he really is the one who should be apologizing. I did nothing wrong. I wasn't ready for anything.

"I'm just sorry I couldn't give you what you needed."

I did what?

"Oh, God, Brian," I say as I bring my hand up to my head and rub at my temple.

How could I have done that? After everything that I know, after everything that has happened. How could I have said that to the one I love and care about so much?

"I am so sorry baby, I... I have no excuse for what I said, I... I..."

"Was completely fucked is what you were." I sigh heavily.

I am pissed off at him still, I'm hurt and angry about what he said but I'm too tired to start any kind of fight with him. I wave my hand by way of surrender.

"I get it. You've been under a lot of pressure recently. Yeah, I'm fucked off, yeah, it fucking hurt but it wasn't your fault." I say, my lip quirking up, "It wasn't you. I know you don't think those things about me. You wouldn't do anything to intentionally hurt me."

I bite my lip as I listen to what he is saying. Why would I say something like that if I didn't mean it though? I know I was drunk out of my mind, but when I am drunk I say what I mean. So was I really thinking that?

"I wouldn't baby, I really wouldn't but..."

Ooooh no, why the hell did I say but!!!

But? Oh God, I hate the word but. Even in the descriptive form meaninging ass, I hate that word. It always means something's happened that shouldn't have. I can feel my throat constricting.

"B-b-but? But what?"

Oh God, I don't want to hear this.

"But, errr, I never say anything that I don't mean baby, even when I am drunk or stoned. I must have meant something I said to you but... I can't think I would, I'm just really confused."

I rub at my head again.

"Oooh man, Tony's pain killers aren't working."

Oh man, Tony. I need to tell him about what me and Tony did last night. Oh man, this couldn't get any worse.

He's confused? He doesn't have any excuse but he meant it? He knows I want to sleep with him, he knows I'm trying so hard to be ready for him. Yet he's still pissed off at me? I'm lost.

I choose to push this aside, I'll brood over it later. I smile across at him and take that first step across the abyss dividing us, tentatively taking his face in my hands.

"Tony's painkillers couldn't ever compete with mine."

I lean across and press soft little kisses to his head.

"See?"

I smile a little as he presses the kiss to my head, but as he does so it burns me, it makes the pain worse.

"Ouch," I let out as I push him away lightly and bring my hand up to my head, I hiss.

"Brian, I'm sorry I... God," I move away from him, now pacing the room.

"Brian, how can you just forgive me like this for everything I did last night?"

"Because it's the only time you've ever done anything like this, you were completely fucked out of your head, you've never shown any sign of being like this when you're sober." I explain, "And I haven't completely forgiven you, I mean, I'm still upset, it was pretty fucking cruel. But we've got to start somewhere right?"

I watch him as he paces around the room, something is off here. There's more to this than he's letting on.

"Jacoby?" I ask, "Is there something you're not telling me?"

I nod slowly, "There is," I say before biting into my lip.

I sigh and look up at Brian, but I can't look at him, not when I am about to tell him what went down with me and Tony. I just can't.

"Brian, you know I love you so much and I would never do anything to hurt you as far as it was in my control but..."

I swallow the largest lump in my throat ever before speaking in a quiet voice.

"I... me and Tony we... erm, last night we..."

Last edited by Syn on Fri May 09, 2008 12:08 am; edited 1 time in total

No.

My stomach clenches, my heart starts trying to break it's way out of my chest. This can't be happening. I don't want to hear this. I can't hear this. I don't even know what he did but any phrase which begins with 'Tony and me' and involves him being this nervous isn't going to end well.

"Oh my God."

It's all I can get out. I walk over to the bed and sit down on the edge.

"Oh my God."

"No, no, no, it's not like that. We just, we didn't..."

All we did was kiss and I blew him as far as Tony told me. But for all I know, we did do more. Maybe we did and Tony didn't want to tell me because he was trying to protect me from the truth.

"We kissed, a little bit, and... that's it, apart..."

I bite my lip and look up at him nervously, my mouth drying up just as I look at him. I can feel my heart just breaking seeing him so sad.

"I... I gave him a blow job..."

I can literally feel my heart breaking. My chest hurts like someone's just kicked me there repeatedly. And I should know how that feels. I can feel tears brimming in my eyes, the lump rising in my throat. My stomach is clenched tighter than it ever has been before.

"I'm going to be fucking sick."

I get up from the bed and run to our small bathroom, falling to my knees and retching violently.

This can't be happening, this can't be happening, this can't be fucking happening!

I wince as I hear Brian in the bathroom. I bite into my lip and walk carefully to the bathroom.

"Baby, I'm so sorry, I... I was drunk I..."

There's no excuse for what I did. No matter how fucking drunk and stoned I was, I should have crawled into a hole and just fallen asleep somewhere.

I loom down at Brian still with his head in the toilet bowl.

"I'm sorry baby," I lean down, against better judgement and push Brian's hair from his face.

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