RP:]] St Luke's Reform School For Young Gentlemen

I walk across to the edge of the roof, just looking over at the city for a while. It's so peaceful up here, no interruptions, no noise, the only light is that of the city far below us. I might have to come up here more often when I need to think.

I sigh heavily and turn to head back down to my room. I kind of hope Coby's in there but I'm pretty sure he'll still be with Tony somewhere. At least I know he's safe with him. Tony wouldn't let him do anything stupid.

[[Erm... what now?]]

[[We could have the fall out of Coby and Tony's one night stand? Frantic emo-ness or something?]]

[[That might be a plan of action. I'm gonna go and get some dinner now, so, would you like to start? I'll promise I'll start the next one, haha.]]

Number of posts : 920 Age : 43 Registration date : 2008-04-01

I've been awake for the past hour, my chair isn't really the most comfortable place to sleep. I've just been pacing around my room, looking over at Coby, keeping guard, making sure he doesn't choke on his own vomit.

This is a royal mess, a right fuck up. There's no way this can end well for either of us. I'm going to be hating myself for letting Coby do this to me, Coby's going to hate himself for doing this to me. It's going to destroy our friendship and I'm going to lose the best friend I've got here. It's going to be no fun for any of us.

Goddamnit Brian, why couldn't you have just let him fuck you?

You are a fucking waste of space.

Smack.

You're fucking useless.

Slap.

No one will ever love you. I can't even fucking stand you myself!

He says this as the small boy, aged fourteen cripples to the ground, crying like the weak little boy he is as his lover abuses him like he does every night. He can't stop it, he can never stop it. He's not loved like his lover is, so he just lets it happen. Night, after night, after night...

"Ahhh! Fucking Tim," I yell as I bolt up from the bed, so now I'm sitting up.

I loom around my surroundings, wondering where the hell I am. This isn't my bed. I can't remember a thing, all I know is that I feel so sick and that my head feels like it's going to cave in on itself.

I know right now, that I am hungover, and the smell of me tells me that I have being smoking something. And it's stale, so it was a while ago.

"Ooooh, fuck. What have I done this time?"

Number of posts : 920 Age : 43 Registration date : 2008-04-01

I look over to Coby, who looks as shit as I feel right now. He doesn't remember what he did? That's really helpful. So I'm going to have to either tell him or suffer with the guilt myself.

"Morning sleeping beauty." I say, a little less enthusiastic than I usually do.

I walk into the small bathroom grabbing the hangover kit. Also known as the pills, the bucket and the sunglasses. Every room has one, one of Tim's better ideas.

I walk back into the room with Coby and toss them to him.

"Sleep well?"

"Not really," I say groggily before taking the pills and taking the recommended dosage.

I sigh before rubbing over my head and putting on the sunglasses. I know I'm not going to puke, I hardly ever do after drinking, I am one of the lucky ones.

I look up at Tony through the dark glasses.

"My God, what the hell possessed me to drink and smoke last night?" I ask myself as I rub at my head.

I hate not remembering what I did the night before, I hate forgetting anything in general actually. I rub at my head some more, trying to see if that can help me remember something, and also hoping that it soothes my aching head.

Number of posts : 920 Age : 43 Registration date : 2008-04-01

I'm torn now. Do I tell him and make him feel even worse or do I keep it to myself and hope he never recovers the memory? I don't really have much choice, I've got to tell him. I know he'd do the same for me. I've got to tell him. As much as I really, really don't want to.

"Well, we went to deal with Alex, then I said the wrong thing, then there was a kinda fight between us and you, I'm assuming went to get fucked up somewhere." I explain, "This... ringing any bells?"

"The fucked up part yes, but only because of the ringing bells that are in my head FROM the fucking up-ness... oh man, now my head hurts even more now," I groan as I rub my head.

"Dude, what the hell did I do? It doesn't normally hurt this bad unless I did something really fucked up," I complain as I look down at the floor, "something that hurt someone, close to me..."

Brian.

I shot my head up all too quickly to look up at Tony.

"Tony, what did I do to Brian?" I ask in a panicked and rushed voice.

Number of posts : 920 Age : 43 Registration date : 2008-04-01

"Directly? I don't actually know. You just came here about 3AM, bitching about how he wouldn't put out." I explain, "You didn't really give me any kind of explanation of what you did to him."

It's the truth, he didn't actually tell me what he did to Brian.

"Indirectly though? You, um..."

I wring my hands together nervously, looking anywhere except at Coby, "You sorta cheated on him a little."

"Oh man, what the hell did I say to..." I start to ask myself before my brain as time to register what Tony said.

I wipe my head up again and stare at him wide eyed.

"What do you mean I cheated on him?" I ask in a rushed and serious voice.

I cheated on him? Oh my God, what did I do? Did I try and kiss Tony because I was upset? Did I... what did I do? Oh my God, what did I DO?????!!!

Number of posts : 920 Age : 43 Registration date : 2008-04-01

I really didn't want to be the guy who told him all of this. I don't like being that guy. That guy gets blamed and gets the shit kicked out of him. I don't want to be that guy.

"I mean, you came here, drunk, high and horny. You came on to me. I REJECTED YOU REPEATEDLY. I would like to point that out now." I say, although now probably isn't the best time to be gloating over that, "But you were way too persistent, there was some kissing and well, you blew me."

I look at him in total disbelief, my mouth could literally have hit the floor right now.

"I did, what?" I ask him again, even though I don't want to hear it again, ever.

I couldn't have done that, no matter how drunk I was, I love my Brian. If he had said no to a fuck I wouldn't have gone anywhere else. I would have stayed, said how sorry I was for asking while drunk and then fall asleep in his arms like the goofy drunk I have always being known to be.

"But, but that's so not... me?"

Number of posts : 920 Age : 43 Registration date : 2008-04-01

"Dude, I barely recognized you last night." I say, in hope it might help a teeny tiny bit.

I sit on the bed by him, careful not to get too close in case he's going to lash out and blame me. But then again, that's not Coby's style. He wouldn't try and hurt me. I just think I'm too afraid to be too close to him right now.

"You've been under a lot of pressure recently. You just made an error of judgement."

"But I don't make errors in judgement Tony," I say to him as I rub at my head, "that's not my style, that's not how I am programmed."

I know that everyone does make mistakes in life, and believe me I am one to day that I have made so many. But the problem is, you can't make mistakes like this in this place. Not in this hierarchy.

"I've fucked up big time Tony. I ruined my whole life in one fucking night," I sigh before taking the sunglasses from my face and throwing them onto the bed, "What the hell am I going to say to Brian?"

Number of posts : 920 Age : 43 Registration date : 2008-04-01

"Tell him the truth. They always say honesty is always the best policy." I point out, "Besides, he must have seen how fucked up you were. I'm sure he won't hate you for it."

I don't really know Brian well enough to know exactly how he'd react to something like this. But I know that he worships Coby and I'm pretty sure he'd find a way for them to get through this.

"And didn't he fool around with his girl when you two first got together?"

"That's completely different Tony," I say defensively as I stand up from the bed and look down on Tony.

"You don't know the whole story, he HAD to fall around with his girl so his dad..." I have to choose my words carefully now, "Wouldn't find out he was gay."

I sigh, no matter how much Tony tries to justify this, it's just not going to ever be better. I reach my hand back up to my head again, pinching the bridge of my nose to stop the pain there. Something I have being doing a lot more recently.

"Why didn't you stop me?"

Number of posts : 920 Age : 43 Registration date : 2008-04-01

"I tried! On at least five different occasions."

Twice.

"You were adamant and in the end, I just gave in because I hadn't got laid in for-fucking-ever. I'm just as guilty as you, Cobes, I'll admit that."

I cross my arms and look up at him, "I don't know what else I can say."

"Neither do I," I mutter as I keep looking down at Tony's feet, keeping my eyes trained there.

How could I do this? How could I fuck up the only important thing in my life with just one night on a binge? He was the only thing I ever cared about. He made me strong, he made me what I am now, he made me care about being here. How could I ruin that? HOW?!

"Help me Tony," I say in a shaky voice.

I'm not quite sure what I even meant by that. All I know is that I am not going to be able to even look Brian in the face. Not now anyway.

Number of posts : 920 Age : 43 Registration date : 2008-04-01

I get up from the bed and against my better judgement pull him into my arms, "It's going to be okay. I promise you, J."

I shouldn't be making promises like this, I don't know if things will work out for him but I can't just say nothing. I need to at least try to reassure him, even if it does involve a few possibly empty promises.

"Brian won't leave you over this. Sure, it'll be hard and he'll have to learn to trust you again, but this won't be the end for you two."

I bury my head into his shoulder and just hold onto his shirt. I don't cry, I don't think I have enough tears to show how much I hate myself right now.

I shake my head against Tony's shoulder I just pull myself closer to him. I know this is probably so bad, but I don't feel so awkward around him. I don't remember anything so that might help that factor.

"It better be alright. He made everything alright about Tony, he gave me a reason to care about someone and protect someone. I can't lose him. Not now, not ever."

Number of posts : 920 Age : 43 Registration date : 2008-04-01

"You won't." I say, not sure where to put my arms now.

I let them hover above him for a while before stiffly wrapping them around him. I'm disgusted with how uncomfortable I feel around him right now. I'm supposed to be helping support him through this and I just feel terrible.

"If you need to, blame me, okay?" I offer, "If it'll help, I'll take the rap."

"No, no, I have to take the rap for this myself," I say as I look up at Tony again.

"It's my fault all this happened, I was under stress and I can't blame anybody but myself."

I pull myself away from his arms briefly, rubbing my hands over my face before getting ready to prepare myself to go and see Brian.

"I need to go and see him, don't I?"

Number of posts : 920 Age : 43 Registration date : 2008-04-01

I nod sadly, "Yeah, you really do."

I clap a hand on his shoulder, "You've just got to stay positive, man. I'm sure everything'll work out okay."

I sound convincing, I just wish I felt half as convincing, "And if all else fails, do it naked. There's no way he'll be able to stay mad then."

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