RP:]] St Luke's Reform School For Young Gentlemen

I look between everyone in the room, not really sure what to do now. Part of me wants to go after Zacky and find out what's going on there but something tells me he might not want my company right now. I also feel I should go and find out what's happening with Matt but considering his reaction to me a few minutes ago, something tells me he probably also wouldn't want to see me.

Goddamnit.

I look across to Coby while Josef keeps the kids talking. Or keeps Courtney drooling - something I really don't approve of. At all. That's not happening. No way, no how.

"Uh, what are we supposed to do here?" I ask, "You got any ideas?"

I look over at the kids just talking to Josef as if everything that's going on upstairs isn't happening. Whether they know it or not, it is, even if I have no idea why. But I heard the screaming, and the look on Brian's face.

I stand up from the chair and walk over to Brian with a serious look on my face.

"What's going on Bri?"

I know he knows, because he's acting far from cool right now. And I know what Matt said to him.

"Have you being," I lower my voice so not even a mouse could possibly hear me, "sleeping with Zacky?"

My eyes widen. He can't believe that, surely! He knows he's the only guy for me, he's always been the only man for me.

"No!" I say, a little too loudly, causing everyone to turn to me.

I wave them off before turning back to Coby, just so it's me and him again.

"No, Cobes, I've not slept with Zacky, I promise you. Can we take this somewhere a little more private? I don't really want to do this in front of everyone."

I don't say anything to him, just nod before smiling back at the kids and dragging Brian back out into the hallway and through into the kitchen.

"OK. So what is going on then? You look really fidgety and wide eyed and all that shit," I say to him as I run my fingers through my hair.

"If it's not you and Zacky then... what the hell is going on?"

I know I am being a little bit more pissy than I should be, but me and Matt have being best friends for as long as I can remember, since we both went to the same sports college and shared a dorm. I care about him.

"Zacky's been sleeping with Josef." I say, getting it straight out there, "And I don't approve at fucking all but I found out and I've been keeping it quiet coz I didn't really know what the fuck else to do."

I sit on one of the stools by the island in the room, "And now Matt's obviously found out and their relationship has obviously gone to shit."

I shrug my shoulders, "That's about the size of it."

I blink a few times as is what he has said hasn't quiet registered in my head.

"He... WHAT?!" I yell in utter disbelief.

"I'll kill 'im. I will fucking have that boy for breakfast," I say to myself as I start to walk out of the kitchen, grabbing in my pocket for my car keys, "there is going to be nothing fucking left of him for doing that to my boy..."

I get up and head after Coby, grabbing his arm, "Do you really think now is the right time?"

I pull him back into the kitchen, I don't want the kids to hear all of this, I don't want to get caught up in an argument with everyone else around.

"We should be making sure Matt's okay, that the kids are okay. They need us more than Zacky needs your scorn." I say hoping he doesn't assume I'm trying to get Zacky out of all this.

"Brian, I know what you are saying, but Matt has being my best friend since college to today. He was the one that helped me through everything after you left me in high school. I care about him, more than anything, almost as much as you Brian. Give me some time to mentally kill Zacky first, OK?"

I say to Brian before closing my eyes to illustrate how angry I am and how much I want to kill Zacky right now. How could be do this to Matt? After what they have being through, after everything they have done together, after having twins together.

"OK, I'm good. What did you have in mind then?" I ask Brian before crossing my arms over my chest.

"I know, Cobes." I say, smiling sadly, "D'you want to go see if Matt's okay? He's less likely to behead you. I'll look after the kids."

I can't help the fact my eyes wander to the knife block on the side, mentally deciding which one would be the best to deal with Josef. But I can't kill my son. I wouldn't last five minutes in jail.

"And I'll try not to kill mine." I say, with a weak laugh.

"Hmmmm..." I say, not really focusing on what Brian is saying now, I just focus on what I am going to say to Matt.

I take a deep breath before turning back towards the door and walking out of it. I look back at Brian momentary as he goes back into the living room. I slowly ascend the stairs, keeping quiet so I can hear where Matt is.

"Matt? Matt, it's Coby," I say quietly as I listening to all the doors for any signs of life, "Where are you?"

I can hear Coby wandering around outside. I really don't want to talk to him right now. I don't want to talk to anyone. I just want to hide away and forget all of this ever happened.

I grab more of the toilet roll from the side and wipe at my eyes. I can feel the tears drying on my face, making my skin feel tight. I try to stay as quiet as I can but a shaky breath goes through me, making my presence known.

I put my ear to the bedroom door and see if I can hear anything on the other side but I can't hear a thing. I furrow my brow as I am about to give up when I hear a shaky breath come from inside the bathroom.

I look towards the door and knock lightly.

"Matt? Matt babe, talk to me."

I don't ask him how he is, or what's going on because I think that's pretty obvious so I'll save those questions for when I can actually see him.

I drop my tissue down on the floor, "And say what? You want me to tell you about my plans for redecorating? What?"

I feel bad snapping at Coby but the fact is, I don't know how I'm supposed to deal with this. I'm snapping because I'm so fucking confused and hurt and lost. I don't know what else to do.

"Just leave me alone, Coby. I'm a mess, you don't want to deal with this."

"You want a bet?" I question him through the door as I slide down it and take a seat on the floor next to it.

"I could be going to kill Zacky right now, or Josef, but someone needs to think of you Matt, because that boyfriend of yours isn't obviously doing that," I say a little angrily, more at Zacky than Matt.

"Sorry, I'm pissed at them, as you can guess," I say through the door, "just come out man, or at least let me in."

I sigh before reaching up and flipping the lock on the door. I'm not opening it or anything along those lines, I'll let Coby do that. I don't exactly have the energy to pull open a fucking door.

"It's open." I say, leaning back against the tub where I was before.

I try not to focus on all the good times Zacky and I have shared in here. Christening every surface in the house when we moved in, even attempting to try something over the bidet.

I hear the lock switch go and I look up at the door handle before struggling to get up off of the floor. I let out a groan as my knees clip and I pull open the door.

"You know, I hate you for making me sit down and then get up again," I say with a small smile as I poke my head around the door.

I notice that maybe now it's the time for joking as I walk all the way into the bathroom and shut the door behind me, and lock it just in case one of the kids comes in.

"So, you wanna hit me or something, get your aggression out?" I ask Matt as I sit down, again, opposite Matt with my back around the sink cabinet door.

I shake my head, "I couldn't hit you even if I tried, Coby. I'm too hurt, I'd probably miss."

I don't really want to do anything right now. I mean, short of dying and killing Josef and Zacky. Perhaps not in that order. That'd be even more complicated. Besides they'd also end up in the same afterlife as me.

"I just want to curl up and melt away somewhere." I say, my voice strangely steady right now.

I nod, "I understand."

I look at Matt just sitting there, looking at me, not smiling at all. It's so strange to see him not smiling at all.

I scoot from my position opposite Matt so I can sit next to him. I wrap my arm around his shoulders and rub at his shoulder.

"This is some party, eh?" I say to him as I look around the bathroom, "reminds me of that college party we went to. You remember? the one when you got drunk for the first time ever. You and me, sitting on the bathroom floor, you crying because you were so ill. Me just sitting there shaking my head at you,"

I laugh a little at the memory, hoping I am cheering him up somehow.

"Yeah." I say, trying to smile but failing miserably, "I wish that was the only reason I was so upset now."

I miss college. I wonder if I could create some kind of time machine to take me back there? I was miles away from Zacky but I wasn't worrying about him seeing anyone else because we were still in that crazy first flush of love.

"I'm sorry Coby, I'm probably bringing you down here. I don't mean to. I should just suck it up, right? Pretend it never hapened, keep a brave face for the kids. Fuck, I bet they hate me now. Driving Daddy away."

"Hey, hey hey. Don't talk like that, you have every right to be upset," I say to him, "I was just trying to lighten the mood a little because you looked like you didn't want to talk about it."

I hug him a little closer to me, looking down at his face as he looks down at his lap.

"And the kids aren't going to hate you for this. They could never hate either of you, no matter what you do. They might hate Zacky at first, for what he did, but they wouldn't hate you babe. They're old enough to know about relationships now."

"I know, I just... I can't help but feel like it's somehow all my fault." I say, looking Coby in the eye for the first time since he's come in her, "Like I somehow pushed him away, I made him not want to be with me anymore."

It sounds ridiculous saying it outloud but that's pretty much what Zacky made me feel. He didn't want to come to me, Joe was there. I don't know why I didn't fucking see it before!

"I just feel so fucking inadequate. Like I wasn't good enough for him."

"Matt, you are plenty good enough," I say to him, "if anything, he's not good enough for you."

I don't know why Zacky did it, I wonder if Brian knows why?

"But, he must have had a reason to. I mean, Zacky does love you, if he didn't love you, do you really think he would have stuck around for twenty years, or asking you to marry him, or to have kids with you. There must be something."

I don't know what Josef is like, but from what Brian has told me about his son is that he's a little like him and a misguided teenager. Could he really have being the brains behind this?

"I don't feel good enough right now. He screwed around with someone young enough to be our son. Someone our daughter was making eyes at." I say, "I feel fucking old and past it. I feel like he's bored of me. I was never bored with him. Maybe I'm just too easy to please.."

I grab more tissue from the side and blow at my nose, the most dsgusting noise in the world coming out. I throw the tissue in the general direction of the toilet and miss. Sounds about right.

"You and Brian are lucky in that sense. You've not been together long enough to get bored with each other." I say, "Oh and I'm sorry for accusing him by the way, I hope you left his balls intact."

"I know how you must feel. But you shouldn't do yourself down like that. I mean, you can still make Zacky scream right?"

Maybe Brian needs to talk to Matt about this. I mean, he must know why Zacky was doing this with Josef, all I'm really useful here as is a shoulder to cry on.

"Well, there's that and the fact we have the unrequited love tale that's lasted 20 years before. Trust me, I think that I can speak for Brian, and myself, when I say we both wish that we have now what you and Zacky have, still have."

I smile and laugh a little, "Don't worry. I know he didn't do anything with Zacky, he was far to calm and confused when you accused him."

"Yeah, I can but y'know, sometimes I think he's faking it... before I remember it's pretty much impossible for a guy to fake an orgasm." I say, half smiling, "I just wonder if I'm too dull for him. I mean, he was the school slut. He's had so many different guys and now he's stuck with just me."

"I mean, we try different things, we fool around but it's so difficult with teenage kids. They're normally up all night so we don't get much time to ourselves."

I rub at my head, "Fuck I don't even know what I'm saying anymore. I just know I want to kill Josef. And Zacky... kind of..."

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