RP:]] St Luke's Reform School For Young Gentlemen

[[It's not like Chris can do much else, he's dying.]]

I hear Coby's voice and spend a few seconds trying to decide whether I should go in and see what's going on. He sounds shaken up. I lay the kids back down on the bed, telling them I'll be back in a moment.

I walk out of the room and into Alex and Chris'. There's no sign of Alex but Chris is on the floor, blood pooling around his head.

"Oh God. I... I'll go get the nurse." I yell, running off down the hallway as fast as I can.

"Get her to get an ambulance, and hurry Brian!" I yell after him before running to Chris's side.

"Oh my God man, what had he done to you?" I ask him even though he can't hear me.

I sit next to him, grabbing the closest shirt to me and holding it to the cut on his head and placing my fingers to his neck. His pulse is weak, too fucking weak for this to be an attack.

"Fuck..." I whisper to myself as I tilt my head to the side and listen for his breathing.

He's not breathing.

"No, no no. NO!" I yell out, hearing some people at the doorway, I spin my head around.

"GOT THE FUCK OUT!" I scream at them before turning back to Chris and starting to perform CPR on him.

"Come on man, come on Chris, you can't go yet man, please..."

I can hear Coby's voice even from half way down the halls. He's normally a lot calmer in these situations, I don't want to think about what's got him so wound up now.

I reach the nurses station in record time, the walk normally taken me at least five minutes. I must be running on sheer adrenaline.

"Helga!" I yell, leaning against the doorframe, trying to catch my breath, "We need a fuckin' ambulance... an... shit... Krankenwagen! Chris, he's passed out, he's... there's a lot of blood, you need to get up there."

I seem to get my point across. She grabs a few supplies and heads out of the room, moving at a pretty quick pace considering her starture. I'd be impressed if I wasn't so afraid.

I grab the phone on the side and call 911, hoping there haven't been enough crank calls this month for them to dispute my story.

I pump at Chris's chest more, counting my reps as I do so.

"Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen..." I lean down and breath down Chris's throat, watching from the corner of my eye as his chest rises but doesn't fall.

"No," I say as I check his pulse again, it's barely there now.

"Come on Chris Baby, breath, coughing, puke on me do something. I don't care just come on!" I say to him as I shake him again but I am suddenly pushed back and I whip my head around to see Helga, screaming German to herself as I can only sit back and watch.

Chris, you can't die you mother fucker, you hear me!

"Please, please fuckin' hurry." I inform the woman on the other end of the phone.

I practically throw the phone back into it's cradle and lean back against the wall. It's only now I'm away from everything and I've had a moment to breathe that realization hits. Chris could be dying up there. I don't know him that well but we have spent some lessons together. I don't know how I'd cope if he died. I've never had to deal with this kind of thing before. To be honest, I don't know how anyone here would cope if he went.

He's not going to die, he can't fucking die.

I can hear the sound of sirens coming up the long driveway. I didn't realize how long I'd been stood here. I run out to the front of the building, through the small crowd that's gathered - what the fuck are they doing down here? - and greet the paramedics, showing them in the direction of the accident.

I watch on in horror as Helga tries to help Chris the best she can, but she is close to giving up, I can tell.

"Please Helga, please..." I beg with her as I sit up against th wall, my eyes wide on the scene in front of me.

"Please..." I say as a single tear rolls down my cheek.

I suddenly can hear Brian, guilding the paramedics into the room and telling everyone standing around the door to get out of the way. But I don't look up from Chris's body.

I was supposed to take care of you, to help you when times got rough. I promised you, I promised myself. I am a terrible person. I hate myself Chris, I am so sorry.

The paramedics brush past everyone, obviously meaning business. One of them pulls a small defibrillator from the bag slung over his shoulders. I just stand and watch as they try and shock Chris back to life. I can't actually believe this is happening now.

My first instinct is to go to Coby, to hold him, to let him know I'm there for him and that everything will be alright. At the same time, I'd just end up in the way of the medics and Helga.

I just watch on as the female medic shakes her head, long brown curls falling back and forth over her shoulders.

Oh God.

No.

No. This can't be happening. I stand to my feet, getting up and walking over to one of the other paramedics.

"He can't be dead, no, you have to try something else, anything else, PLEASE!" I beg with the man as I grip onto his jacket.

He smiles weakly at me, apologizing to me in a sincere voice. He pryies my hands from his jacket, telling me softly that they did everything they could.

I watch on in just pure shock and horror as the other paramedics go about getting everyone out of the room.

"Why?"

I watch Coby as he stands, looking blank and guilty. I sneak past a paramedic and walk across to him. I rest a hand on his shoulder, smiling sadly at him.

"I'm so sorry, J." I say, hating myself as I do so. It's so cliche, it sounds so insincere no matter how much you mean it. I want to tell him that it wasn't his fault, that he wasn't to know it was happening but I know he'll just keep blaming himself.

One of the paramedics approach us, trying to get us to leave the room so they can tend to the body. It just sounds so wrong, Chris isn't a person anymore, he's just a body. To hear him being addressed as such just... it doesn't seem right.

"Honey, we've got to leave, let them do their work."

"What work, cover him with a sheet? That's hardly work, they didn't do anything! I was the one in here giving him CPR for twenty minutes straight!" I snap at Brian before glaring at the paramedic before me.

I sigh and shake my head before muttering, "Fine then."

I start to leave the room with Brian, looking back now and again at Chris's body on the floor in a pool of his own blood. What a way to go, eh?

"I'm sorry."

The door shuts behind us and I let out a low sigh and close my eyes, trying not to cry as I can see some of the kids around me, standing in the hall hysterical and crying. They need me now more than ever.

"It's OK guys, we'll be OK," I say to the crowd before letting my arms open for anyone that needs a hug or someone to just be near.

Never mind him giving hugs to all these other kids, he looks like he could do with one himself. He looks like he just needs to break down and cry until there's nothing left. I know I should be bothered about Chris but I didn't know him that well, I know Coby, I love and care about Coby. I don't want to see him hurting over this, well more than he has to.

I watch as one by one crying kids throw their arms around him, him hugging back out of duty not out of anything more. I want to tell them all to give him some space, give him a chance to breathe but I know he'd just get annoyed at me, so I continue to watch on from the sidelines.

"It's OK Davey, I know, I know," I whisper as he little David cries into my shirt, soaking it through.

There is only a few of them around now, as most of the people that are around have being taken away by most of my friends, giving me some space from the crying kids and tending to them their-selves.

I stroke the hair of the first year I am hugging, him crying into my shirt some more and telling me about how Chris was one of the sweetest guys he knew. I'm not really listening to what he's saying, I am really just nodding and thinking how this all could have happened. And then it all pops into my head.

Alex.

The tiny kid wipes his eyes on the sleeve of his shirt, followed by his nose. It's so innocent and makes me realize just how young so many of the people around us are. Hell, Chris was only a year older than me. I approach Coby, smiling sadly at him.

"You look like you could do with getting it all out too, J." I say, standing awkwardly.

I don't know where to put my hands anymore. I want to wrap my arms around him but the whole idea of it just seems a little awkward.

"You want to go back to..." I gesture to our room, "Get it all out?"

I smile at him before looking back along the group of kids, now being pushed back by some of the paramedics. I sigh before looking back to Brian and the closed door of Chris's room.

"I want to see him off first, then I will, I promise," I tell him with a smile before walking over to the paramedic, stopping and sighing before looking back at Brian.

I grab at his hand, making him jump a little.

"Come with me?" I ask him, understanding if he says no, but I need this closure.

I smile back at him, "Of course."

I grip his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. I'll do whatever I can to help him now. I know he's going to need it. He's not going to be able to handle all the mourning kids and his own grief alone.

We watch as the paramedics lift the body from the room on a stretcher. It seems so strange. I keep thinking he's going to sit up and make some sarcastic crack.

My breath hitches in my throat as I watch the paramedics carry Chris's body, covered by a black body bag, he seems weightless, no struggle as they pick him up. I bite into my lip as I watch the paramedics walk out of the room.

I follow them down towards the ambulance, still holding onto Brian's hand, and the hand of someone who I haven't looked back to see who it is yet. We walk down the stairs after the body, watching Chris's shape unmoving with trained eyes.

The skies have opened now. It's like God's crying for Chris. It's almost cliche and at any other time I'd probably have laughed at it. Instead I just keep stroking Coby's knuckles with my thumb, trying to give him some silent comfort.

"Goodbye Chris." I say, without even thinking about it as the medics move to close the doors.

I wince as the ambulance doors slam shut, ready to carry Chris off to his end. Where they can run all the regular tests and forensics, probe around at him before they throw him into a fire never to be remembered again.

I walk over to one of the paramedics, dropping Brian's hand and the hand in my other. I clear my throat as the other watch on.

"Could you possibly follow one of his wishes for me?" I ask the lady, she smiles at me weakly before nodding.

"Chris wouldn't want all his body parts to be shipped around from person to person like he was a spare part, and he wouldn't want his blood sitting around in a storage room collecting dust," She nods along, "So, could you possibly not put him down as an organ donor. He wouldn't have wanted that."

The woman Coby's talking to nods at his request. I turn to the other person beside me, a kid I don't really recognize. I've seen him around the school but I don't know his name.

I open my mouth to say something to him before realizing I have nothing to say. I can't think of anything I'm supposed to say or do at this moment in time. I close my mouth again and turn back to watch as the medics climb back into the ambulance, ready to take Chris to his final resting place.

I sigh before shaking my head as the ambulance makes it's way out of the school gates.

"Bye Chris, we'll miss you buddy," I say with a small smile before turning back to the group of people and teachers all crowded around, looking sad.

I smile weakly before walking over to Brian.

"Well, looks like..." I can't think of anything to say before sighing and letting my head hang.

I can't say I know how he feels because I really don't. I can't imagine how much this is hurting him right now. My poor baby. I open my arms up and pull him to me in a hug. It's his turn for some comfort now.

"I'm sorry, Coby, I'm sorry." I say, pressing a kiss to his wet neck, "He's in a better place now, right?"

I smile in spite of myself as I imagine Chris laid out on a cloud, a dozen twinks around him, all catering to his every demand.

"Yeah I guess," I say with a small smile before looking back at him.

"Come on, let's go back to our room. I'm in need of a good cry," I say quietly so that no one but Brian can hear me.

The others don't need to see me cry, it won't do them any favours, if anything make everything worse.

I nod and take his hand again, "Okay, baby."

I walk back into the school with him, my eye always on him. He looks like he needs to break down. No-one else could see it but when you've stared into his eyes as much as I have, you can tell exactly what's behind each look.

We walk back to the room in silence, a solemn reminder of what's just happened here.

I walk past the room, the door now closed and the sounds of the teachers inside, obviously cleaning up and getting Chris's thing together on the other side.

I sigh a little before all by rushing to our room, ready to just get inside and cry, luckily no one finds me on the way as me and Brian walk into the room, the door shutting behind us.

"Oh God."

I lead him across to the bed and sit down with him. I'm ready to do whatever he needs me to. Whether it be sit and hold him, talk to him or just smile and nod at whatever he has to say. I need to be there for him now because no-one else will be, they'll just take whatever comfort he can supply them, they'll drain him.

"Whatever you need right now, Coby, I'll do it, a cuddle, a cry, anything." I say, smiling, "I'll even juggle with the goldfish."

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