RP:]] St Luke's Reform School For Young Gentlemen

Oh God, he is cheating on me! He's screwing around and he's going to leave me! I'm trying so hard not to grab his arms and beg him not to. To beg him to give me another chance and to let me prove how much I love him and need him.

Instead I just nod and smile at him while he says his piece. I kinda wish he'd hurry up and get to the point before I end up saying something I shouldn't. I watch as he sits, looking nervous, hoping desperately that I don't say something stupid.

"Please don't leave me."

Like that.

I open my mouth to start what I'm going to say before I hear Brian say something, what did he say? Don't leave me?

I furrow my brow and look at him in bemusement.

"Why would I leave you?" I ask him completely confused and wondering what could be going through his mind.

"I was just going to tell you that, that I've being going down to the courtyard to think things through, I... I wouldn't leave you for that..."

But then it hits me that maybe Brian wasn't as calm and collected as he was making out to be.

"Oooh, Brian, I-I'm sorry, I never did very well when coming clean, I'm sorry I scared you."

I move a little closer to him and wrap an arm around his shoulder, the tables turning now so he's the one that needs the comfort rather than myself.

I feel guilty now. This was about him and him being stressed out and all of his problems and now I'm being whiny and needy. But I'm glad to hear he's not leaving me. That's always a good start.

"Sorry, I just... you hear that your boyfriend's not been honest and needs to tell you something and you kinda panic." I say, with a half smile looking down to my knees in embarassment, "I'm good, really."

I look across at him, "So what did you need to think about? What's going on that's got you so stressed out, baby?"

I pull away from his hug, worried that while I'm explaining this to him I'll end up squeezing him to death from the insane stress I am feeling right now. I sigh.

"It's just, I've got a pretty big secret from one of the boys, and I'm not supposed to know about it, y'know? And normally I can keep secrets and forget about them, but that was believe I had a boyfriend, so, now i feel like I'm keeping something from you, even if you're not supposed to know... if that makes any sense to you at all..."

I stop for a second before taking a deep breath and looking down at the my hands in my lap.

"It's about Zacky... and it ain't pretty..."

What could he possibly have found out that's got him this shaken up? I know Zacky's a pretty crazy kid but I didn't think there was anything he could do that would do this to someone.

"What did he do?" I ask, befre jumping in and saving myself, "If you're okay with telling me. Coz I understand if you don't want to."

I smile, "But you know I can keep quiet."

"It's not that I don't want to Brian, I hate having to keep this from you, but, I'm not even supposed to know myself and... this is the fucking moral dilemma of the century, y'know?"

I sigh and rub at my temple. Should I really tell him? I could risk everything here, everything that I have worked for over this past year.

I don't want to keep this from him, but I also know that this could make him feel... disgusted towards Zacky. I want to be able to be completely honest with him, but some things are just not meant to be discussed. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO HERE!!!

I let out a long shaky breath before biting my lip, thinking to myself what the hell I should do. Tell him, or not? Tell him, or not...?

"You CAN and MUST keep this secret, right?"

This has got to be something pretty serious if he's being this paranoid over it. He's getting really worked up, I've never seen him like this.

"I promise baby." I say, smiling, "You can trust me, you should know this by now."

I bring a hand up to rub at his back reassuringly, "I won't tell a soul."

It's not as if I even have anyone to tell to be perfectly honest. My friends here kind of consist of the drama stoners and Coby's friends who I'm pretty sure only put up with me because I'm the boyfriend.

"OK," I say simply, getting ready to start my story to Brian, I take a deep breath before talking.

"OK so, the other night, when Zacky was having those bad dreams, right?" He nods, "Well, they were about his brother Mattie Baker, who, erm, who died over Christmas. And... I didn't know about this, Matt just kinda showed me out of the room after Zacky had come out of the dream."

I have started to fiddle with my fingers now, "So, I went down to see Brody, that's why I came home a little late, because I wanted to find out some about Zacky's past," I take a deep breath.

"He, erm, he and his brother were pretty close and... when Mattie died, Zee was heartbroken. but not in the brotherly sense he was, like, heartbroken because they... they had a relationship that was..."

I have no idea how I am going to say this nicely without using the words incest. I hate that word, it doesn't seem right to me. Love is love and all that jazz, but, how else am I going to explain it to Brian otherwise?

My hand stills on Coby's back, I can feel my stomach contents shifting around inside me now. My eyes close and my nose wrinkles in disgust.

"Oh God, please don't tell me that Zacky was fucking his brother."

I knew Zacky was a bit messed up in the head but incest? Incest is more than a bit fucked up, incest is completely and utterly evil. It's fucking wrong on so many levels.

"That's sick."

"NO!" I say a little defensively as my head shots up and I turn around to glare at Brian.

"They weren't fucking, they were in love, and there is nothing wrong with that," I declare to him.

I should have known he would react like this. Well, not quite as angrily as this, but I should have known he wouldn't like it.

"Love is love."

"That sentence works for people like us, for straight people and everything, incest is a completely different matter, Cobes. Incest isn't love. Incest is abuse." I snap, a little angrier than I should be.

I shouldn't be getting mad at Coby, he's not done anything wrong. Zacky's the sick one here. Incest? I didn't think even he was capable of something like that.

"Incest screws people up in case you haven't noticed."

"Not all incest is abuse, Brian," I say, putting emphasis on his name, "Zacky didn't force his brother into anything, they just grew up thinking that kissing was fine!"

I lower my voice a little now, just so that no one can hear me yelling at him or get wind of what I am actually saying.

"Look, I'm sorry if you don't like it, but the fact is that I had to keep that fucking secret, you told me that it was fine to tell you to get it off my chest. Now you're just making me feel fucking worse."

Good job there Jacoby, make him feel guilty. Well done.

"Just because I let you tell me, doesn't mean I have to like it!" I say, trying to get my side of things across, "I'm sorry if I don't believe what he did was fine and dandy."

I don't want to upset him, the last thing I need is to deal with an angry Coby and the last thing he needs is more stress from a whiny, bratty boyfriend.

"I'm not going to tell anyone. I promised I wouldn't and I never break a promise, especially not to someone this important to me." I say, in a calmer voice now, "But I don't approve of it and I can't understand how you're fine with it."

"I'm fine with it, because I saw the effects of heartbreak from that boy that I don't want to witness again. I saw how upset he is, how much he loved his brother, and I don't care whether he was heartbroken about a dead boyfriend or a dead brother. Because the fact is Zacky loved him all the same, and that's good enough for me."

I want to be a good friend to Zacky, I really do, the fact is no one else is going to find out about this, and with the way Brian is reacting now, I wish I didn't tell Brian now.

"Personal opinion I'm sure."

I can't lie and say I'm cool with this, I don't ever want to lie to Coby. It's not fair on him or on me.

There's an uncomfortable silence between us, something I haven't felt with Coby in... well ever to be perfectly honest. I don't know how to get rid of it without saying something and I just have a feeling that no matter what I said now, it'd just make things even more uncomfortable for us.

I raise my eyes to him before rolling them and sitting back and looking out the window again, with a frown set across my face.

The yelling has now stopped, and now the room is just filled with a horrible silence, apart from the clanking of the heating system in the background. The atmosphere is so thick it could be cut with a knife, it's almost suffocating.

"I need some air," I say simply to him before getting up from the bed and going to grab my jacket from the chair by my desk.

I sigh heavily, "Y'know, I may not have agreed with everything my parents did - even when they were together. But I always remember neither of them would leave an argument until they were both calm enough to say 'I Love You'."

It's stupid, it's goofy and it's probably going to backfire on me but I'm hoping it might work in some way. Coby and I haven't argued before. [Except that one time over who was better looking, I won by muttering that he was under my breath in German. Or that time we were arguing over what porn was best. Well, we've not had any serious arguments.]

"I just... I don't know what I thought. I just thought it might help both of us gain some perspective or something."

I look up from my hands to him, "I love you, Coby."

I sigh as I play with the sleeves of my jacket, still looking at the desk top in front of me, feeling guiltier by the second as he talks to me.

I don't want to be the bad guy in this, I don't want him to be left here crying like I was so many times when things like this happened with him.

"I love you too," I mutter, almost too quietly before making my exit towards the door. I can feel tears pinprick my eyes as I twist the handle of the door and don't even look back at Brian. I can't have him seeing me like this.

I'm turning into him. I can't help but let the tears full now. I need to get away from here quick. I need to talk to Tony about this. Now.

I lay back on the bed, staring up at the roof. I really hope he's not pissed off at me for my response to this. I almost feel guilty for having my own opinions. I can't help it if I don't approve of incest. If he's fine with it, he's obviously a lot more open minded than me. It hasn't changed the way I feel about him, I don't think there's anything he could do that would to be honest.

Ugh, I am so not good at this whole relationship thing!

I wipe at my slightly watering eyes, refusing to cry, well, not until I'm in a safe environment where no one will judge me anyway. I walk past a few people, smiling weakly at them as I do so.

I fell terrible, I have just yelled at my boyfriend and stormed out on him. It's not like me, the me I know is the guy that is stormed out on. I've turned into the one thing I have always hated, and now I'm scared for myself.

I round the corner up to Tony's dorm and a few others, letting out a sigh before I knock on the wooden door. I sniff again just to get rid of some of the tears as I wait for his response.

Please be in, please be in, please be in.

Number of posts : 920 Age : 43 Registration date : 2008-04-01

You sick, sick, sick bastard.

I tilt my head to get a better look at the vampire porn on screen. Fake blood does not make for good lube... or sexy lube for that matter. It just looks really wrong. And I'm not going to start on the places this guy is drawing blood from. Aren't vampire supposed to be sexy?

I hear a knock on my door, disrupting my hardcore half hour. I shut my laptop and get up from my chair, walking over to my door. I've not had any visitors in a whole, not since Zacky hooked up with Matt. Needless to say, I'm all excited now.

I pull the door open, "Coby! How nice of you to remember I ex... fuck, dude, you look like shit."

I walk past Tony to walk into the room.

"Thanks, I feel like it too," I say in a meek voice that I don't even recognise. I bite onto my lip and thread my hands in my hair.

"Tony, what do you do when the guru of advice needs some of his own?" I ask him before the tears start to fall from my eyes.

Oooh God, here we go.

Number of posts : 920 Age : 43 Registration date : 2008-04-01

Coby's crying? Jesus, I haven't seen this in a long time. I push the door shut behind us and walk over to him.

"What's happened, man? Is it Brian? Coz I swear to God if he has done anything to hurt you I'll kill him."

I'm maybe a little too quick to jump to violent solutions. I blame the porn, it's turned me into a ball of confused rage.

I shake my head before letting out a choked sob, just so I am able to talk.

"It's not Brian, it's me, we had a fight and, I... I stormed and... it just brought make memories of Tim and, I had to come somewhere and cry," I say, feeling somewhat pathetic now.

I hate crying, so much it's one of my most hated things. Because I do it so rarely, I tend to cry a lot longer than most people when I actually let the flood gates down.

"I just, I can't believe I stormed out and... I feel so bad..."

Number of posts : 920 Age : 43 Registration date : 2008-04-01

"So you two are a normal couple." I smile smugly, "It's about time you two fought over something more than who stinks worse after those intimate moments."

I walk across to him and wrap an arm around his back, "You shouldn't feel bad about storming out, everyone does it. Not just complete assholes like Tim, who I'd like to point out you are nothing like."

Poor Coby, I hate seeing him so worked up like this. Especially when I used the last of my tissues for personal reasons and my shirt will no doubt get the flow of his tears now.

"So what happened to get you so wound up? This isn't like you at all."

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