RP:]] St Luke's Reform School For Young Gentlemen

Okay, so he's not running, he's not laughing at me. That's a good start. That's a really good start.

"Don't mind if I do."

I slink past him into the room, trying to figure out what my next move should be. What would Zacky do? What would Zacky do? He probably wouldn't be panicking and asking himself what he'd do. Shit.

I sit down on the end of Alex's bed, uncomfortably. I don't really have anymore ideas. I've complimented him, I've told him how hot he looks. Maybe I should just cut to the chase? No, no that's not how you seduce someone.

Oh! Get him down here with me, then try and get him all hot and bothered by the proximity to me.

I move back on the bed, trying to lay myself out in a seductive position and smirk at him, "Care to join me?"

I finish closing down my computer of the files I have saved with a smirk before turning back to Matt. He is really acting a hell of a lot different than normal, he seems more relaxed if anything.

"Shads, did Zacky give you some of that special weed again?" I ask him with a smirk as I make my way over to the bed.

I take a seat next to him and smile, "Because if he did that stuff is making you horny. And if you've got some, I want it." I laugh.

Weed? Perfect! Then if he rebuffs me or if I do something really stupid, I can pretend I'm high and nothing changes! Oh Alex, I could kiss you. Even more than I normally could.

"Pft, nah, man. It's all gone." I make a fluttering kind of smoke motion.

I rest a hand on his thigh, inwardly swooning at the feeling of his body under my hand, "And you're right about it making me horny..."

I'm quite amazed at how confident I'm being now he thinks I'm high. It still takes a while for me to ask my next question though. I'm more nervous than I've ever been in my life.

Okay, Sanders, deep breath, just ask him. The worst that can happen is he'll say no and completely break your heart. Hell, it's not like it's never happened before right?

Okay, I can do this. I squeeze his thigh, a shudder running through me at the feeling. Isn't it supposed to be the other way round?

"Wanna do something about it?" I ask, smirking up at him.

Is he serious? Man, he must have only just lit up then if he's willing to just ask me to act in something sexual with him. He's just an inexperienced as I am here, and I would never have the courage to ask anyone, even if I was high.

"You... your not serious, right?" I stutter my question but the smirk and the hand on my thigh give me my answer already.

Shit, what do I do? I mean, it's not like I wouldn't want this, surprisingly, it's just I have no idea what I'd have to do. I have NEVER being with a man before, for anything. What if I mess it up?

"I... I don't know...er...wha?"

That's a great answer there Alex. Well done.

I've got Alex all flustered? Score one for me. I'd be doing happy dances right now if I wasn't trying to act cool and calm. His flusteredness is really giving me a confidence boost. If I can do this to him, maybe there is some kind of chance for me?

"Come on Alex, it's not like I'd be able to call you up on what was being done wrong. We can't be the Gay Virgins forever, right?" I sit up on the bed and move to look at him properly.

Oh God, the nervousness is coming back now. I shouldn't have done this. His looks, everything he is is just seeping into me and shaking up my confidence. I should never look into his eyes when I'm trying to get a point across.

"Y-you did say you wanted to have your first time with someone you trusted." I say, voice wavering a little.

I look away from his eyes, "You can trust me, Alex."

"That... That is true, I did say that but..." I start but I'm not quite sure how I'm going to finish this. Sure, I'm flattered that Matt wants to do this with me, but how to I answer to this.

"... Why me? Wouldn't you rather have your first time with someone who knew what they were doing?"

Self Loathing here. That's a great way to make him answer your questions.

Why you? Oh Alex, there are so many reasons. But I can't tell you. Sex then love, that's what Zacky said. He should know.

"Well, you're fucking hot for one." I say, smiling at him - less of a stoned smile, more of genuine one. Shit, I hope he doesn't see through me. Why the hell didn't I just get stoned before coming to see him?

"If I wanted to be with someone who knew what they were doing, don't you think I'd have gone to Zacky by now? I want to be with someone else who has no clue, so we can learn together, so if we fuck up, it's not some kind of joke spread around the school."

Shit getting too mushy and personal now.

"And you have a giant cock."

FUCK!

I blink a few times to his comments.

"But..." I have frozen up. I was not expecting this tonight.

Well, I was actually never expecting this, what do I say? What do I do? Shit, I have turned into what Matt used to be like way before we were friends.

What do I say to this?

He looks really nervous. Shit maybe I've pushed this too far. Maybe I should make like it was a joke? But this might be my chance to be with him. This might be my only chance.

I don't want him to be with me because I've backed him into it though. I want him to be with me because he wants to. I'm not like the other guys here. I want more than just Alex's body, I want his heart too. This was a bad idea.

I start laughing and bring my hand from his thigh, ready to destroy my chances.

"Oh my God, man, you should have seen your face." I say, laughing - somewhat sadly, "I'm surprised I kept it up for so long..."

What?!

"Huh?" I question as I look at him.

He was joking.

"Matt, if this was all a joke. It's not fuckin' funny." I say in a dangerously low voice as I look away from him.

I can't believe this was all a joke. I didn't think Matt was like that.

Why do I know feel bitterly disappointed though?

Shit, now I've just made things even worse. Why the hell did I listen to Zacky? Never, ever, ever listen to Zacky. Then again, he didn't tell me to make out that it was all a joke. This is all my fault.

Stupid, stupid Matt.

"Dude, you're like, the prankster king of this school." I say, looking at the back of his head, "If anyone can take a joke I'd have thought you could."

I rest a hand on his shoulder, which he shrugs off, "I'm sorry, Alex."

A tiny, tiny, tiiiiiiny part of me is full of nervous excitement at the fact he's so upset over this. Does this mean he would have gone along with it? No use getting excited over this now, I've ruined my chance.

I turn to face him slowly as if I didn't hear him right.

"OK. There are some things that you just shouldn't joke about!" I say to him angrily.

"It's as if you are fuckin' laughing at me for being a virgin! You're as bad as the rest of them."

I am so mad at him right now. I can't believe he'd joke about me being a virgin. Him of all people.

"Just... just fuck off Matt. Get out," I turn back to looking at the floor, "I don't want to see you right now."

I'm such a fucking idiot. I can't believe what I've just done. I've fucking ruined any chance I had with Alex because I'm too chicken shit to just tell him how I feel about him.

I get up from the bed and walk to the door, fighting the huge urge to turn round and kiss him right now. Part of me can't help but think, "If I've screwed everything up, I may as well do it in style". But again, I'm too chicken shit to do anything about it.

"I don't care if you're a virgin, Alex. I don't care about any of that stuff. I just... " I shake my head, "Never mind. I can't say it, I'll never be able to say it."

I walk out of the door, I want to get away from him as fast as I can now. I can feel tears brimming in my eyes. I want to cry but I refuse to let myself. If I cry over him, I'll never stop.

Why the fuck do I have to be such a loser?

As I hear the door shut behind him I sigh heavily.

I can't believe it. I really just can't believe it. I feel like I could punch something, or someone. I need to talk to someone or I'll go insane. But who?

I stand up from my seat and make my way over to my phone. I pick it up and look through my phone book. I press speak and bring the phone to my ear. I bite my lip as I listen to the rings on the other end.

"Chris. I'm sorry I'm disturbing you but...I really need to talk to someone. Could you come back? Please?"

I sound so desperate but I really do feel terrible. I have never felt so embarrassed and lonely in all my life.

[[I was thinking. Would you like to be Chris-y. Since I do have quite a few characters going on? Unless you have any other ideas.]]

[[Can do! I'll just find an e-mail to make him, haha.]]

[[YAY!]]

I push away the head of the emo who's licking at my neck, fucking vampire freak, "Uh, yeah, sure. Actually you've kinda saved my life here too. I'l be with you in a few."

I snap my phone shut and the emo tries to get back at me, "Look, sweetheart, you're a nice guy but I don't want licking to orgasm."

I smirk a little to myself.

Well, not on my neck anyway.

"Practice with the fangs. I'll see you around."

I push him off me one final time, so he falls flat on his ass. There's a sad, rejected look in his eyes. Or I'd say there was if I could see his eyes and not those ridiculous contacts. Skulls in your eyes aren't sexy.

I zip up my pants and grab my shirt before heading out of the door.

I throw my phone to the table and make my way back to the bed.

I can't believe that he did that. Still.

I run my hand through my hair and make my way back to my bed again, taking a seat on it and grabbing a cushion from the side.

He embarrassed me, granted. But why has this got to me so much? If it had being anyone else I'd be laughing and coming up with some way to get back at them. But Matt, he's different. But why?

I head towards my room quickly, not even pausing to hit on some of the hot kids who are staring at my lack of a shirt. Sometimes there are things more important than getting laid. I've never heard Alex sound like that before. He's normally all bright and goofing off. Emo Alex means serious. Or prank time.

I push open the door to our dorm room, "All is well, Chris is here, the world can start turning again."

I kick the door shut behind me and look across to my sad friend, who's cuddling a pillow. Something really is wrong.

"You okay, bro? You look... crushed."

I shake my head as I look down at my feet again.

"I knew that all these pranks would come back to bite me in the ass one day man. I just, I didn't think it'd make me feel his... stupid."

I fist at the pillow I'm hugging against my chest.

"He could have toyed with anything. But why with the one thing that scares me more than anything."

I close my eyes and buries my head in the pillow.

"Me leaving and your very being collapsing because you can't deal without me?" I offer before realizing he's actually being deathly serious this time, "Okay, maybe not."

I sit down on the bed next to him, "Who toyed with what? You're going to have to be a little less vague."

I hate seeing Alex all worked up like this. He's normally so laid-back and carefree. It takes a lot to shake him up like this.

"I swear if anyone's hurt you, man, I will hunt them down and kill them. Slowly and painfully. I'll even let you watch."

"You don't have to kill them," I say before lifting my head from the pillow.

I sigh and look over at Chris.

"Matt came over. I don't think he was high but he said he was. He starting suggesting that we should fuck, and then he started laughing and it was all a joke."

I bite my lip before speaking again.

"I am actually terrified at the idea of sex and all he did was laugh. Him of all people. I feel like such a fucking loser."

"Matt did that?!"

I'm impressed. Pissed but impressed all the same. I know, as well as everyone else except the man himself, that Matt's completely and utterly in love with Alex. None of us expected him to ever do anything about it though. We've been having bets for the past three years. Shit, this means I owe Coby $10.

"Wow." I mutter, "Sorry, this isn't the time."

I take a moment to adjust to this information, "And you're sure it was a joke? He wasn't just suggesting it and then freaked out coz you didn't want it? I mean, I can't see Matt being cruel like that."

"I don't know," I say with a shrug.

"I mean, I didn't even tell him I didn't want it I just... freaked and, I couldn't speak at all I just... stared at him in somewhat disbelief."

I rest my head on Chris's shoulder and sigh again. I wish I'd cheer up a little at least. I am never like this, and now I can see why.

I mean, it must have being a joke. Who in this place would want to sleep with a virgin? It's way too much effort for them to make it nice or whatever. I mean, you wouldn't do it, would you?"

"You've got to be kidding, right?" I ask, "Virgins are the most fun. You can teach them things, they're so eager to please. Granted, they're not always as good as some of the more experienced types but I'd never rule it out."

I can't tell Alex about Matt's thing for him. That's not fair on Matt, he needs to do it himself. I could always nudge them in the right direction though, that's what any good friend would do.

"Y'know, I can think of worse people to have a first time with than Matt." I say, smiling mischeivously, "Me, for example, I'm a very selfish lover. Something tells me Matt wouldn't be like that. He'd be all give, give, give."

» "St. Luke's Reform School" Discussion Post