RP:]] St Luke's Reform School For Young Gentlemen

I nod slowly as we both stand up.

"You wouldn't say anything? But, I really laid into you... I-" I start before stopping myself as I notice my voice is wavering. I just shut up and let him help me into the building.

We open the door and it's pinch black inside, no one is going to be around for a while now.

"Chris, don't take me back to my room, I-I don't want M-Matt to see me like this. I-I'll go to the showers and sleep this off," I ask him.

I nod in agreement, "Okay."

I help him through the halls, hoping to God I can find where I'm going in the dark. The last thing I need is to end up dumping him somewhere that people are going to find him.

I push the door to the showers open and help him inside.

"You gonna be okay alone, Zee?"

I have slowly but surely gained control of my legs again now. Thank God. So I am able to walk without him worrying about me.

I smile weakly and make my way into the showers, "Yeah. I'm fine thanks."

I make my way to the middle off the room and look around for my locker as Chris turns the lights on. I smile weakly at him before opening up my locker.

"I'll be fine. And Chris," I say, catching his attention as he's about to leave.

"Thank you for not- y'know, taking advantage of this. I'm sorry about... everything."

"Hey, I may be an asshole sometimes but even I know when to leave it." I say with a half smile, "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

I walk from the room, ready to go back to my room. I've got to break things off with Alex. If defending Matt is going to turn him into a sobbing wreck, I don't want to be any part of it. Or something. I don't know, either way I know I've got to stop fooling around with Alex.

This is not sexy. Zacky must be fucking crazy. I’m staring at my naked body in the mirror and I see nothing but a nude fool.

“How am I supposed to get hard looking at me?”

Maybe it’d work better if I focus on my body, rather than my face. I’m pretty fucking hot from the neck down. I’m less nerdy down there as well. I look over myself, bringing a hand to my torso, feeling the hard muscle under my rough fingers.

The body in the mirror is kinda hot. He’s more than kinda hot, he’s fucking stunning. Godly really. The muscles are so well defined, so hard, so utterly perfect. I still can’t get away from the fact this is me though. Come on Matt, try harder.

I bring my fingers over my body again, moving a little in the mirror to see my chest from all the different angles. Fuck, it’s… it’s sort of working.

The body in the mirror is the kind I’d like to feel beneath me, to watch in the midst of pleasure, of passion. When I’m all sweat-slicked and shiny, fuck…

This is actually starting to work. Let’s see what else I can muster.

My eyes trail down to my legendary downstairs. The dick which everyone is so obsessed with. I’m above average in both length and girth, even more impressive now I’m getting hard.

“F-fuck.”

I bring my hand to said hardness, almost afraid to touch it. Why would anyone as perfect all over as this allow me to touch them?

I’m such a fucking dork sometimes.

I bring my hand to my dick and start stroking myself leisurely. My mind starts drifting to Alex, the way it always does.

No, Matt, not that cheating asshole. Think of yourself. That hot, sexy man in the mirror. I turn around a little, looking over my broad back, my tight ass. I am so much hotter than so many of these other students.

My eyes flutter closed and I imagine myself dominating myself. Nerdy Matt is getting deliciously violated by Sexy Matt.

“You’ve taken this for too long Sanders.” Sexy Matt hisses as I drop onto the bed, leaning back so I can tease my entrance, “You don’t deserve to be treated like this.”

Sexy Matt thrusts his fingers deep inside, hitting my prostate dead on. I moan loudly at the pressure on the sensitive bundle of nerves.

“Start asserting yourself Sanders. Don’t keep taking everyone’s shit.” Sexy Matt says, “Look at you.”

I don’t obey, just continue focusing on the feelings flooding through me.

“Fucking look, bitch!”

I sit up slightly, and look over at myself in the mirror, my fingers still buried deep inside as I stroke myself.

Fuck.

I am…

“Fucking hot.” Sexy Matt points out, “Those big fingers up that sweet ass, that powerful hand around that fucking horsecock, that hard, fine chest, those thick arms.”

I can feel myself getting closer now as I look over the Adonis before me.

“You are a fucking God.”

As I keep pumping and thrusting, bringing myself closer and closer, I repeat this mantra.

“I am a fucking God.” I say, staring into my own eyes.

I reach my climax not long after, an intense, hot heady orgasm, the type I’ve not had in a long fucking time. The waves of pleasure crash over me hard and fast. I fall back on the bed and I’m covering myself with my own essence.

It takes me a long while before my breathing is back to normal and I stop feeling the tiny aftershocks. My first orgasm in three years not provided by images of those bright blue eyes, that sweet smile…

Fuck it felt good.

I sigh as he shuts the door behind him, grabbing a towel from my locker and slamming it shut.

Ooooh man. Here is comes, I've had my dose of slight angst, now I'm going to be so angry I'll be punching things and after that, I'll be a crumbling mess on the floor crying myself to sleep under the jets of the showers.

I march over to the showers at the end of the room, throwing my mud covered onto the floor as I go. The anger surging through me as I march over.

Ooooh God, here we go.

It's a couple of days into the Christmas holidays. Well, not really holidays because we aren't at home or anything. Well, I'm not anyway. I tried calling home, just so I could talk to my baby brother, wish him a merry Christmas, but the phones are ALWAYS busy so I have given up hope on that front.

It's being a week since what happened with Chris. He hasn't said a word about it to me since. But to other people, that's a different story. I have no idea what he's being saying and now it's making me paranoid. Luckily no one knows that it's my blood that was on the wall in the shower rooms, my razor on the floor just sitting their rusting up ready to go down the drain. No ones going to be looking at my legs for a while now.

So, I'm sat here now, Matt just sitting opposite me, smiling a little to himself and flicking through a magazine. He told me about his little session alone the other night, with agonising detail. But only because I told him to tell me, just so I could get my mind of this nagging feeling that somethings not quiet right.
----

I've never hated my job more than I do right now. Zacky's been a little off around people recently as it is, this could tip him over the edge. And a crazy Zacky is never a safe Zacky to be around.

I walk down the hallway to his room trying to figure out the best way to say this to him, the best way to shatter him even more.

There is no good way. I reach up and knock on his door, waiting nervously, ignoring the catcalls of the students passing me. For once I'm thinking about more than getting laid. This whole thing's brought back uncomfortable memories for me, hence the reason I've offered to tell him.

I hear a knock on the floor and I furrow my brow. Who knocks in this place? The only person who does is Matt and he's looking at himself in the mirror.

I look up at the door from my position, laying in a heap of some of my cushions on the bed.

"Come in?" I call out, slightly questioning as I have no idea who it could be. But when I see it's Corey, looking a little less than perky, all I can think of is how to kill Chris right about now.

"Corey?"

"Hi, Zacky." I say, smiling weakly.

I look to greet his rommate as well but Matt's far too busy smirking at his reflection. I don't think I want to know. I look back to Zacky instead.

"So, how are you doing today?" I ask, making lame small talk in an attempt to avoid the inevitable heartache my visit is going to cause him, "Enjoying the break?"

What the hell is with this small talk? And why does the room suddenly feel like it could have an atmosphere you could cut with a knife. I look over at Matt and I can see that he's feeling it too. Feeling it so much that he shots me a quick smile before darting out of the room. No doubt to find help, or hide in the shower rooms.

"Er-Hi. Yeah, I'm doing good thanks. Breaks boring as ever. Why?" I ask him. I can't help but feel really suspicious. I furrow my brow at him as he takes a seat next to me on the bed with a shy.

"Why Corey?"

OK. I am officially creeped now. This is too weird, even for him.

"Okay, um..."

I adjust my position on the bed, getting as comfortable as this will allow. Nothing's going to make this any easier, my ass isn't really the problem here.

"Look, Zacky, I'm afraid I've got some bad news." I say, smiling sadly, "I just got off the phone with your dad and it seems that your brother had an accident. Well, I say an accident, more a... an attack."

This is so fucking hard. I never wanted to have to say this to anyone, not when I know how much it hurts. I give Zacky a moment to deal with what I've just said, I don't want to lay it all on him straight away.

I feel like my hearts just stop when he tells me this.

My Baby.

I stare up at him and blink, my throat completely choked up.

"W-what happened?" I ask him, moving closer to Corey.

I'm not sure if I want to hear this. My poor Baby. He's being hurt, because I wasn't there to protect him. To hold him when he cried, to fight the bullies away from him, to kiss away the bruises and cuts.

"Is, is he OK?"

I've never seen Zacky looking so vulnerable. He's normally the cocky, arrogant asshole who takes everything in his stride. But then again when it's your family, you don't tend to shrug things off easily.

"We don't know much, just that he was found by some joggers this morning. Your dad reckons the thugs assumed he was gay and laid into him."

Of course those weren't Mr. Baker's exact words but no-one needs to hear the word 'filthy faggot' when they're hearing about their family being hurt.

"They got him to the hospital and they did all they could but he... he passed away this afternoon." I finish, "I'm so sorry, Zacky."

What? No... NO! I didn't hear that right. No, no, no, no, he's not dead. No.

"H-he's dead?"

My poor baby, he's... he's gone? No. No, he's not gone. He can't be. No one is that evil. Nobody would do that to him. Someone may hate him, some people may hate him but they wouldn't kill him.

"No, ya-you're lying. You're LYING!"

I stand up from the bed, about ready to scream at him. I turn to him, tears in my eyes. I am not going to believe this.

"HOW COULD YOU BE SO CRUEL AS TO LIE ABOUT THAT?!"

"You really think I'd lie about something like this, Zacky? I'm not that kind of person."

I can't blame him for the way he's reacting, I was the same when I found out about my sister. You just can't believe that someone would do something so heartless to someone so innocent.

"I'm so sorry, Zacky, I really am."

I don't really know what else to say to him. What can you say really? Sorry doesn't seem good enough, it also seems insincere and pointless. Why are you apologizing for something you didn't even do?

I move over to Corey and grab him by the shirt. I look right at his face and try and shake him, but I'm too weak with pain.

"You have to be lying. He can't be dead. He can't be, he just... can't-be," My voice wavers now as I collapse onto the floor, Corey only just catching me as I fall into a crying mess on the floor.

"Why? Why would someone do that to him? WHY?!" I scream as I clutch onto the closet thing to me and just cry violently. I don't care anymore if anyone comes in. This is the worst thing that could ever happen to me.

I keep my arms wrapped around him, stroking his hair, trying to calm him down. I have never seen Zacky cry. I didn't think it was possible. I'd expected him to be one of the silent brooding types to be honest. But this just shows the Ice Queen isn't completely heartless.

"I don't know, Zacky, there are some fucked up people in the world. They don't see us as people, just targets."

I hold him tightly now, hoping I'm being at least some kind of comfort to him.

"Look, I know this is going to be hard for you, just remember I'm here whenever you need to talk, to cry, to scream at someone. I know you're not great with emotions. I'm not going to judge."

I nod as I continue to cry into his hoodie, letting these three years of pain of being away from my brother come out in one big lump. I sniffle and clutch onto Corey harder.

"It-it's all m-my fault," I whimper. I knew I wouldn't be able to stop myself from saying that. It is my fault. He never would have being targeted if I had just being a normal brother than exploited him and teased him and ignored him. He's... he was such a beautiful person, he could have being the most loved kid in school but I ruined that for him. All because I wanted him for my self. And now... he's gone.

"It's all my fuckin' fault."

"It's not your fault. There was nothing you could have done, Zacky." I say, stroking his back in a soothing manner.

If I know Zacky - and I'm beginning to realize more and more that I really don't - he's not going to let this go. He'll be blaming himself and there's nothing we're going to be able to do about it. I'm pretty certain he's going to be put on the big 'S' watch as well.

"He doesn't blame you, your parents don't blame you."

Which isn't strictly true, they told me that Zacky was banned from the funeral because of the 'adverse influence' he'd had on his brother. He didn't go into detail but from what I can gather, Matt Baker was very much like his older brother, he idolized him. Of course this probably included his slightly less desirable qualities as well and Mr Baker obviously came to the conclusion this was why poor Matt ended up dead.

Bastard.

I look up at him, sniffling as my hands still fist his hoodie. They are shaking violently as I try to regain control of my breathing. I can't say what is going through my head now. I just can't, it's not ethical to mutter. But, just because it can't be said, doesn't mean I won't.

"It's all my fault, I, I made him- what he was, what he is, I..."

Do NOT say what I think you are about to say. Just shut up, Jesus Christ. He does not need to know this. You don't want to be labelled at the sick fuck. You don't want it, so for the Love of your brother stop talking...

"I was the one wh-who made him, fall for me."

"Fall for you? Zacky, what are you..."

And then it hits me. Zacky and his brother were a little bit too close. The mere idea of this disgusts me somewhat but I can't relay that to Zacky. Then I'm just as bad as everyone else.

"Oh... oh."

I'm trying so hard to be supportive here but when you've just been told something that is so morally abhorrent, it's pretty hard to act normally. Then again is it really that bad? Zacky's clearly torn up over this, he's clearly broken hearted. Can you really help who you fall in love with?

"Look Zacky, you can't make someone fall in love with you. It doesn't work that way, believe me I've tried." I say, with a half-laugh.

Shut up, Beau, not the right time.

"He'll have fallen for you of his own free will."

I sniff, "I didn't help matters thought."

Why am I pouring my heart out to him like this? He doesn't care. He's probably disgusted holding me like this. I guess it's just being coped up for so long, I needed to let it all out.

"He was such a sweet kid. We were only thirteen and fourteen, I thought it was Oh-Kay to kiss him but, it wasn't. I...I didn't know why though. I-I loved him and he loved me. I protected him and he looked up to me. We were normal, but we hugged, and we held each other, and we kissed it all felt so right. But, no one else thought that way. My Dad, he went insane at me, my Mum she-she didn't want to know me anymore. And I didn't get it. So, I- I told Matt that everyone was wrong, that it didn't matter if we were brothers because- we were meant to me together. And... and..."

It's only seeing him like this that I remember just how young he really is. He's always seen as this bad kid because he's a little messed up and promiscuous. Something tells me he's not finished with his story either.

"Zacky, I'm not judging you okay. Whatever you want to tell me, it'll just be between you and me."

Normally when I say that, I'm telling Brody within a matter of moments. Like some kind of fucked up soap opera for both of us. But not this time, some things need to be kept private.

"You can trust me okay, if you need to get it out, need to tell someone, I'm listening."

I nod at him, not sure how much more I can say. I have never told anyone else about this, I have no idea if I could tell him everything, I have tired so hard to push it all too the back of my mind for these past three years. But with Mattie's... passing, it just all seems to be coming back to me.

"It's the reason I'm in this place. It was a huge fam-family secret. No one was allowed to know. My Dad, he's a policeman, he,erm, made up a story for me. All the things I had suppose to have done. I wasn't a bad kid in school, I was just mouthy to people and stood up for my family. Mostly Mattie."

I stop and take a breath, not looking at Corey at all now, knowing how disgusted he's probably looking right now.

"It was the way he found out about me and Mattie though. We were always close. But, he erm, but one day me and Mattie were up in my room and, we were kissing pretty heavily, we thought we were being so grown up and... that's when it happened. He, found us, and he... he beat us both. Me mostly, because I was the eldest. He, he sent me away for forcing Mattie into it. We missed each other so much, I.. I didn't show it because I was smarter than I even thought. I soon learnt how wrong it was for me and Mattie to be doing what were doing. But that didn't stop when I went home for the summer when I was sixteen."

I stop myself.

"Corey, you don't want to hear this, please shut me up before I say anymore because I don't think I can stop myself for saying it." I all but blurt out as I try to bite my hand to stop me saying the next bit. He doesn't need or want to know the next bit. I don't want anyone to know the next bit. It's too... painful to remember the bliss.

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