RP:]] St Luke's Reform School For Young Gentlemen

I follow behind him at a safe distance, not too close so I end up smelling him, I was caught doing that before and it was possibly the most embarrassing thing I've ever been through. Also not so far behind that I end up staring at his back and ass. Both of which are impeccable.

I follow him into his dorm room and it's amazing world of organized chaos. I'm assuming most of this is Chris' stuff. I don't remember Alex being such a hardcore punk.

"Net sounds fine to me."

Anything sounds fine as long as I get to hang out with you.

Christ, I'm such a chick.

"Yikes," I say as I look around the room, slightly embarrassed by how untidy it is, it's a fucking mess, "Sorry about the mess. Chris is such a fucking slob." I say as I grab a pile of clothes from my bed [which seems to be Chris's yet they are on MY bed] and throw them onto the floor with the other piles of junk on the other side of the room.

"I'm going to yell at him to clean up tomorrow, for cereal," I say as I take a seat on my bed, sitting cross-legged.

"Take a seat Matt. You don't have to stand in the middle of the room, make yourself comfy." I smile at him.

I always wondered about Matt. He's always so nervous and sweet. Always smiling and saying few words to me. I don't get it. I like him, he's a good friend to me, well, I'd like him to be a friend, but he seems to quiet as if he doesn't want to be my friend. I don't know.

I take a seat on the closest bed to me. His bed, I notice. A small smile plays across my lips as I start imagining him in this bed. Fuck, I seem like such an insane stalker now.

"Uh, yeah, thanks."

I'm surprised he puts up with me. I must seem like such a stupid kid. I'm only ever like this around him. With all my other friends I'm really bright and excitable. I'm the life of the party. But with Alex, I'm a stammering, nervous fool. Why the hell did I have to fall for the only guy in the whole school who might not be gay?

I smile at him as he sits on my bed, looking a little rigid as he does so. My smile falls a little before I look around the room, trying to think of something to start the conversation with but not having much luck.

"So...looking forward to this sex ed lesson tomorrow?" Ooh yeah, good starter topic, "I bet Zacky's gonna pull some lame ass prank or something." I laugh a little uneasily before going back to smiling again.

At least he might wanna befriend me if I seem nice enough, right?

Sex Ed? Aw man, don't mention that Alex. I shift a little uncomfortably on his bed, giggling a little to myself. Giggling?! I'm not supposed to giggle. Great, you're really doing well with the whole winning him over thing. then again, he could always pretend I'm a girl considering I just giggled like one.

"Sorry, still a little stupid from the joint earlier." I explain, despite the fact the effects wore off hours ago. I hope it's a good enough explanation for him.

"I'm kinda looking forward to it. Zacky always makes them fun." I say, smiling at him, "And Mr B's always fun when it comes to the orgasm questions."

I think back on the last time we'd been through sex ed. It's a requirment every year, as if we'll forget. Mr B always treats us to a fake orgasm just to prove women aren't the only ones who can do it. Although most of us are convinced it's just to see how many hard on's he can get from the students. Zacky and I counted one time. 7 out of 18.

"Oh God yes," I laugh, itching the back of my head as I do so, "I wonder what Brian's going to think of our little 'unorthodox' sex ed classes." I say with a smile.

I shift up the bed a little, since I was slipping somewhat so I am now sitting a little closer to Matt with my back to the wall, watching him as he sits perched on my bed.

"Come on, get comfy. You're perched like you'll fly off at any time." I smile, waving my arm to him in a motion to get him to move closer.

"I'm sure he'll love it. I mean, isn't Brody going to be there too? He'll see breasts and suddenly everything'll be okay for him."

I look to the space next to him. The butterflies are back in full force [butterflies? Why the hell can't it be something manly?]. I smile stupidly up at him and crawl nervously up the bed, sitting next to him. I'm painfully aware of how close we are right now. My shoulders are brushing against his, there's really no space between us at all. There's a good amaount of space to the side of me but I really don't want to move. I shuffle away slightly, just enough so that it's not awkward, but still enough so that I'm lightly brushing against him. I really hope I don't do something stupid.

"So, I... uh..." I look up to face him.

I wonder what he'd do if I kissed him now? No, Matt, don't think that. Then you will and it'll be awkward and you'll lose you're chance and you'll never make it through the next year without losing your mind.

"What do you, uh, what do you think of the new kid?"

I don't actually care about his opinions, I just needed to say something before I said the wrong thing.

Well, he can't hate me that much then. I mean, someone that didn't like me wouldn't sit so close to me, right?

"He's actually pretty cool. I mean, from what Zacky first said I thought he'd be some homophobic bastard that'd beat up people like Mick. But when I met him, he seemed pretty cool so... yeah. I think he'll be a good friend to have." I say, moving my hands around as I talk, a habit I have really got to stop doing.

"So, what about you?" I ask turning to him, "What do you think of him? Especially after his... welcome present from all of us." I laugh a little.

Oh great, now I have to form some kind of coherent response not just stare longingly at those blue eyes. Why couldn't they be looking back at me with the same feelings swirling around?

"Well," I look away from his face, afraid he'll be able to see what I'm feeling, "He seemed to take it like a man, y'know? I don't think he's being totally truthful about not being gay though."

Aha, perfect chance to get the question out without it seeming out of the blue or completely random, "I mean, everyone at this place is gay in some way, right?"

Please, please, please, please, please don't be obscure. Or not answer.

"Right. There is no way in hell that you can be 100% straight in this place. Besides, all the guys that say they are 100% straight are all hiding something. Or was it 100% normal. I dunno, I remembering watching something on it when Brody was bored in Media and just stuck the TV on." I smile at Matt.

"So, what about you Matt? Got any skeletons hiding in the closet?" I ask him before nudging his arm gently.

Shit, maybe that was a little too person since I am trying to befriend him slowly.

That's a start, that's the best start I can think of. Not 100% straight. I can deal with that one. I can't help the grin which comes across my face as I think of the possibilities.

Until he drops his next question.

"Skeletons... uh... no, I, uh..." I'm pretty sure I'm bright fucking red right now, "No, I'm... nothing being hidden here. I'm as open as a fucking flower... which is open and..."

Oh God, why can't the ground just open up and swallow me? Or Superman fly really fast to turn back time again? Anything to stop the fallout from this.

I look at him a little confused and smile widely at him, "A flower. Dude," I say before resting my head on his shoulder and chuckling some more.

"I believe the term you were looking for was, as an open book." I smile, tilting my head back to look up at him, with my head still on his shoulder.

I hope I didn't make it too awkward with that question, he seems to be blushing an awful lot now. Maybe I should even the score, but before I can even think of whether that's a good idea or not one of my secrets leaves my lips.

"I have a vibrator."

WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE THAT SECRET?!?!

I'm getting used to the feeling of him being so close to me, allowing my mind to imagine, just for a moment, that he's my boyfriend and this is just a little sign of intimacy. Then he goes and drops that one on me...

"You... a vibrator?"

Curse my overactive imagination. Now he's on the bed, writhing with the vibrator deep inside him, moaning my name. It's going to take a miracle to stop me getting hard right now.

"I... I never expected that..." I say, voice wavering a little, "I... wow..."

Fuck, why can't I be cool like Zacky right now? I can't count the amount of times he's managed to turn something like this into sex. A bit of flirting, some off the cuff remarks about wanting to help out with that, I don't have that ability. I just manage to turn it into an awkward situation for both parties involved.

Oops.

I sit up a little from my half laying position and turn onto my side so now I'm fully facing him. Thinking it might be better for him to know I want to be completely honest rather than just joking around or something.

"I'm sorry. I just, I thought I had embarrassed you so I wanted to get myself back. So, by telling one of my secrets, I thought I did," I say to him, hoping that I making some sense, but the blush on his face tells me I#m just digging myself a deeper hole, "I'm sorry I embarrassed you."

"No, no, you haven't embarassed me, just... shocked me a little." I say, smirking a little, "I mean, whoa... I never expected you to be the guy to have the sex toys."

I'm amazed, I formed a full sentence around him. I smile at this fact but choose to direct my smile at him, hoping it makes me seem less like a retard. Time to try talking like a human being again.

"I'm sorry too. I must seem like such a freak around you." I say, "It's nothing personal, I just..."

It's then I catch his eyes. His beautiful, perfect, incredible eyes. Come on mouth, work damnit!

"I..."

Great, back to square one.

"You, what?" I ask him now he is looking me square in the eye, it's as if he is trying to find the words but can't get them out.

The events of before are forgotten now, well by me anyway, and now I just want to find out what's wrong with Matt. He seems pretty tortured by whatever it is that's plaguing him.

"Come on, you can tell me," I smile, "You'll feel better once you do and I promise, I won't tell a soul, yeah?"

I need to say something. I need to say something to him now, rather than just sitting here staring. He said he wouldn't tell anyone. Then again, he wouldn't need to tell anyone, it's about him.

"I'm just... uh..." I look down.

There's not really any way I can get out of this now. Maybe it'll go right? Maybe he'll feel the same? Maybe I can make out that it's a joke around him?

"You've got to promise not to hate me, okay? Coz I'm not good at this and everyone I say this to ends up hating me." I say, smiling sadly at him, "So you have to promise you won't."

I nod along to what he is saying, slowly.

I have to promise I won't hate him. What could this be about then? Has he ratted me out to one of the teachers for all these pranks I've being pulling? Maybe this is a string of guilt coming through, all this stammering and being quiet.

"I promise I won't," I go along with it, "Now, what is it?" I ask him, trying to sound as sweet as I can so I don't freak him out but that's pretty hard when you're on pins and needles waiting for an answer like I am right now.

Shit, why did I say that? Now I really have to tell him or he'll probably end up thinking I'm some kind of freak and... shit, even if I do tell him, he'll probably think I'm a freak and throw me out of here. Oh God, why did I start down an alley I can't come back from?

"I, uh, I... kind of..." I start, stammering nervously.

I pause in my answer and take a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. I need to tell him now, unless I can think of something else. Yeah, that's it, think of something else. Think of something less major, then he won't hate you coz he won't know. And you can still admire him from afar.

"I'm sort of... really jealous of you." I start.

Well that works, doesn't it? Telling him I'm oh-so in love with him would have been less humiliating.

"I mean, you're this cool kid, you've got all the tattoos, people respect you. They're nothing like that with me."

Oh God, why did I start talking?

He's jealous of me? Now, I was... really not expecting that.

"Jealous?" I ask again, my eyebrows knitting in the middle of my forehead as I look at him, "Matt. Why are you jealous of me?"

"I'm not that great a-guy y'know? I drink too much, I take the piss out of nearly everything, I don't do any of my work, I pull too many pranks," I tell him, counting off all the reasons with my fingers, "Seriously. You're a great guy. You're sweet, something we need in this school. You're funny, well, from what I've heard, I haven't really had the pleasure yet," I smirk at him a little, "And you're a good looking guy. There is seriously no reason for you to be jealous."

Why on earth would he be jealous of me? I still don't understand that.

Did he just say I was good looking? Calm down, Matt, it's only in a friendly capacity. He's not interested in you as a lover.

"Yeah but sweet doesn't really cut it around here. Yo... people around here don't fall for the sweet, funny, nice guys." I say, "Do you have any idea how many boys here are into you?"

Another reason I have no chance. Everyone loves Alex. I'm sure most of the guys here want to sleep with him. I've heard Zacky making mention of it on several occasions, I'm pretty sure Mick's tried, along with loads of others.

"I haven't got anything like that. None of the guys here have tried to fuck me. Well, except Zacky but let's face it, he's Zacky, it's what he does."

Ooooh, so that's what this is about. He's that kind of jealous. Awwww...

"Awww," I say without even realising before looking back at him again, "Sorry. That just kind of, slipped out. Yeah." I say before sitting up again and sitting opposite Matt with my legs crossed in front of him.

"Well, I don't know about that but I have never heard any of the guys tell me they'd fuck me, only Mick but, yeah that's just not... right," I laugh, "But I have heard a couple of the guys staying it about you." Granted I haven't heard them say they'd want to fuck Matt, but I have heard Jacoby on one occasion talking about how he'd love for Matt to just hold him when he was missing the feel of arms around him. So I guess that counts for something, right?

"And question, who's being saying they'd want to fuck me? Besides Mick, because I just might have to run them up on that." I laugh.

No, Alex, that was your cue to tell me that you'd fuck me and then I could have lived happily ever after. Damnit, you're not doing this right! I'm resisting the temptation to yell these exact words at him.

"Well, uh, that'd be telling, wouldn't it?" I say, smiling nervously at him, "And then I'd end up getting in trouble for revealing confidential secrets."

If I had more guts then I'd throw my name out there as a joke and see what his response was. But I don't have the balls to do that.

"Is there someone you're hoping would?" I ask, not quite believing the words have just come out of my mouth, even if it was in a tiny, meek voice.

He catches me off guard slightly, I whip my head around to look at him, "What?" I ask him as he repeats himself a little more louder this time. Still sporting that rosy blush, which is almost endearing. I smile.

"I don't know, I've never really thought about it before." I say before laughing at myself, never thinking about who'd I'd like to fuck around with in an all boys school. That's seen as weird around here.

"But now you mention it," I say, drawing out my answer as I try to think, who'd be a good lay, "Well. I haven't really ever being with a guy before so, I just think I'd like to have someone I could trust y'know. So, not Mick, and not Zacky," I laugh, before pausing and thinking it over again, "So, yeah. Someone who wouldn't laugh at me for not 'blowing them' properly or whatever."

He's as insecure as me. Well, maybe not as much as me, that's pretty much impossible.

I smile at him, "I'd be in the exact same position as you. I've never really gone further than kissing another boy."

I feel a little more at ease now, which is surprising considering what we're discussing. I think it's easier for me when I'm beating myself down.

"Zacky tried but I just froze up. I'm the same as you, I didn't really want to get yelled at. I didn't want to disappoint him. I mean, he's with Mick all the time, right?" I say, with a half laugh, "How many men can match up to him, right?"

» "St. Luke's Reform School" Discussion Post